First of all, thank you so much for all your sweet comments! They have just delighted me to no end!!
And thank you even more for all of your prayers!
I am going to be honest here...the last few days have been the greatest and hardest of my life. I am just over the moon in love with these two babies. I am crying as I type this just even thinking about how much I love them. They are so very precious to me. I have never known a love like this before, so instant and so intense. It's an incredible thing.
I have never been more in love with my husband either. He is such an amazing daddy! He has blown me away with his patience and his way with them. He has just fallen into this role so naturally, it is really impressive. And to see him adore them just melts me in a whole new way.
We are so grateful for their health, and for their sweet spirits. They seem to be such good babies. They hardly fuss, and are easily calmed down.
I also am so surprised by how much pain I am in. My c-section for Abbey's delivery was emergent, and therefor fast and brutal. One of those 60-seconds-skin-to-baby kind of things. My incision is killing me. It feels like someone poured lime juice in it when I first try and move around...it stings so bad. I have stitches from both deliveries, and neither is comfortable. I am so swollen all over - which they tell me is normal and will go down in a few days. My jaw is sore and it's hard to eat because of my need to be intubated. My throat is very sore from this as well. I was vomiting and dry heaving after the anesthesia and unable to eat solid foods for the first 29 hours after delivery. I was so weak. I have a strange cough that feels and sounds like it needs to be productive, yet it isn't. It hurts my incision to cough hard, yet I need to get whatever it is up. My doctor thinks it is just some residual "leftover" stuff in my lungs from the tube being down my throat. She isn't too worried about it, but wants it to be completely gone before I leave, so she is keeping us all another day. We will head home Wednesday it looks like.
It's been hard not to be able to fully care for my babies. I have yet to be able to change their diapers because I haven't been able to stand that long.
But, things are getting better each day. I am now fully free of the catheter, all IV's, and any other misc wires, leads and bandages I had all over my body. I am staying on top of my pain meds, and last night was even able to get out of bed and walk the maternity floor a bit. Today I was up a few times too. It hurts so bad getting out of bed, but it's starting to feel better to be up and around a bit.
Breast feeding is going ok. My milk hasn't come in yet (which is to be expected), but hopefully will soon. Yesterday we seemed to back track a bit with the babies ability/desire to latch, and I had a complete meltdown about it. I feel like that's the ONE thing I am able to do for them right now, and I am determined to do it. Luckily today has been much better. Thank you Lord!
Thank God for such a loving and supportive husband who is able to be here and be so hands on. Thank God for loving and willing family and friends to help.
Thank God for all the people praying for our family, our sweet babies, and my recovery. The prayers are working and I really feel like things are getting easier.
So thank you.
Soon I will write a detailed post about their deliveries, both so I can document it and so I can process it all. But after I get it all out, I intend to do my best to move on from it. After all, at the end of it all, I have two healthy babies out safely, which was our prayer.
Thanks be to God.
Even though these last few days have been rough in a lot of areas, I would do it all again in an instant.
Without a doubt.
These are my first days as a mother, and they are so precious to me. Our babies are such a gift... I am so unworthy of this much favor from the Lord.
They are worth ANY amount of pain or discomfort. And they were worth every seconds wait, and every tear along the way.
More than worth it.
I mean, just look at these faces...
Our sweet son.
Our sweet daughter.
I look so tired here -and I was!- but I have never been happier than to have both my precious babies in my arms at one time.
I mean just. look. at. these. faces...!!
How do I describe how I feel about these babies? I feel like "so in love" and "complete adoration" don't even begin to touch the emotions I have for them...
I am so blessed.
I better finish up, since my little ones are going to need to eat soon, and I get to feed them =). But before I go, I wanted to ask you all to please be in prayer for my niece Cadence and my sister Amanda and brother in law Noah tomorrow.
That sweet little girl is going to be having surgery to repair her heart valve. Please be praying for God Himself to guide the surgeons hands, for a successful surgery (we are asking the Lord to please let this be the LAST one!), for peace and a calming presence for Cadence, and for peace, comfort, and assurance for Amanda and Noah.
Thank you so much for praying!
With sincere gratitude and love,