Potpourri

Warning, random post ahead.

To start off with some awards sweet friends have given me, including one I have been very delinquent in posting about. And since it is the first sunny day of spring here in Oregon (it's like 85 degrees outside!!) and I need to get off this couch and go soak up some of that sun before it starts to rain again, I am going to be delinquent in my rule-following as well. Hope you all can find it in your big ol' hearts to forgive me!! My soul (and skin) are in desperate need of some Vitamin D!!

First award was from my friend Alexis, she is just so sweet and SO encouraging!

(I think this award is just too cool because the crown sparkles!! Bling bling ya'll!! HA!)

Rules, Rules, Rules:List seven things that make me awesome:

Sorry Lex, but this is sooo not the day for me to post seven things that make me awesome! I had a rotten day at work yesterday and am still down about it =(. No worries, I will be just fine, but not feeling particularly awesome today...perhaps when some semblance of awesomeness returns to me, I will play along. HA! But THANK YOU for awarding me "Awe-Summm!!", you are too sweet and I am glad to have met you!! =)




Second award was from my sweet friend Jenna, you all may know her as mommy to Miracle baby Brayden!!

The rules are that you have to accept the award and post with the person who gifted you, and give this award to 15 new blogs you've discovered.


Like Jenna, I don't have 15! So, also like Jenna, I am making my own rules and changing it =) I have been trying to spend a lot less time online lately, and so I haven't really discovered any new blogs... but here are a some of the sweet friends I have made recently, and am so glad I did!! If you haven't met these ladies, go say hello!!


Becca


Lauren


Lori


Alexis







And lastly, an award from my sweet friend Sarah, she and her husband have AMAZING faith and I am continually amazed by her strength and courage!! If you haven't met her, go say hello and say a prayer for them as they start a new path in their journey to parenthood.





Okay, so here are the rules:
1. When given the award, you write about seven things that you love.
2. Pass the award to seven bloggers that you love, and be sure to tag them and let them know they've won.

Seven things that I love:

1. JESUS
2. My husband David
3. My family... my parents, step parents, in laws, sisters, brothers in law, sisters in law...I am blessed!!
4. My sweet kitties Lucy and Ruby
5. Macaroni and cheeese...yummmm my favorite!!
6. Blogging
7. Sunshine!!!

And I tag any of you that want to play along!!!!




On a TV related note, is any one else besides my sister Amanda and I taking this whole Jon & Kate marriage trouble unusually hard?

They just renewed their wedding vows in August!!! I bought the new People magazine yesterday and read Kate's interview and I am just so sad about it all!!

But in happier TV news...

I won't go on and on about it here in case some of you Office fans haven't watched the Season finale yet, but for those of you that did, was that not THE MOST ADORABLE THING YOU HAVE EVER SEEN?!?!?!?!?

Seriously.

Happy Saturday all!! Off to bask in the sun!!!

Mother's Day 2009

Today I had a wonderful day.

I spent the majority of the day by myself, with a grande white chocolate peppermint mocha, my camera, my Bible, my prayer journal, and my Esther Bible study workbook. I got up this morning, got ready, and at my husband's thoughtful suggestion headed off to the Grotto.

This plan all came about a few weeks ago. When we came to realize that this would be another Mother's day without a little one, or a pregnancy, I began to dread that the day was upcoming...

The idea of sitting through another Mother's day service at Church, where they lovingly ask every one who is a mother to stand and be acknowledged...and I am the only person with a uterus over the age of 17 still sitting...ugh. I just couldn't stand the thought of it. Society goes above and beyond to celebrate mother's today, and as well they should. Mother's day is a wonderful idea, and I certainly don't think they should stop celebrating it because of the hurts it reveals in some. Being a mother is an amazing gift, and from what I understand of it, a pretty thankless job! So I love that they acknowledge those that are privileged enough to carry the responsibility and honor of being someone's mother. I personally can't wait to stand proudly at that call one day in the future!! It's just that until that day comes...I just dread the feeling of being ostracized that it creates in my heart.

For the last two years, on Mother's day I have forced a painted smile on my face, and bit back tears as I heard poems and proclamations of the joys of motherhood. I have sucked it up and been a grown up about it because that's what I felt like I should do, and I wanted to spend time with the mothers in my life, whom I love so dearly. But this year I gave myself the year off. Call me selfish if you want, I am choosing not to care. (and if you call me selfish in a comment, I won't post it =) ).

I can not express properly how liberating it was to realize I didn't have to put myself in that situation. It was so incredibly freeing!

So I filled my backpack up and threw it over my shoulders and headed off to the Grotto, coffee in hand. I spent a long time just walking around and taking in the beauty of nature and the amazing statues and sculptures. I stood off to the side and observed a beautiful and reverent outdoor Catholic Mass. I wandered around and took deep inhales of fragrant flowers, and smiled to myself when a random bout of sunshine would suddenly warm my face.

And while I walked and observed, my mind and my heart kept up the mantra of 1 Samuel 3:10 "...Speak, for your servant is listening." I beckoned the Lord to meet me where I was today, and told Him how much I longed to spend time with the God of Wonders...

After awhile of enjoyable wandering, I found a quiet bench where I pulled out my prayer journal. I wrote for a bit, and thought for a bit, and prayed for a bit. Then I got out my Bible and my Esther homework, and proceeded to do two days worth of study...(I was a little behind, shhhh don't tell Beth =) ).


The Lord and I did a lot of talking today. He worked on some areas in me that were in dreadful need of attention.

I couldn't help but notice a constant theme about my day. First of all, at the Grotto there is much emphasis on God's turning sorrow into joy. Then when I worked on my study, I reveled in the realization that we were finishing up Chapter 8, where God turns Esther and her people's " mourning, fasting, weeping, & wailing" into "happiness, joy, gladness, & honor".

I thought about this for awhile and reflected on the areas of my life in which God is allowing an about-face reversal to occur...

I read the scripture of Psalms 40: 2-3

"He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire, He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God."


I realized that I see God doing that right now in my life. Pulling me out of the mud and mire, and setting my feet on a Rock. I guess I hadn't even given credence to the fact that I was in the mud and mire before today... but on looking back...
I used to be so positive...so very "Pollyanna", and I hadn't even acknowledged how much of that had disappeared until I began to recognize it slowly returning to my personality. It felt so refreshing.


I realized that I have spent the majority of the last two and a half years suffering from waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-drop syndrome, and God has slowly been pulling me out of that mindset. I thought about when it was that the ability to try to look at the bright side and hope for the best first seemed to disappear from my life... There I was, giddy and elated...happily married, mid 20's, just completed my first trimester and finally exhaled that breath I had been holding for the first 12 weeks...life was perfect...


Shortly after we learned our baby didn't have a heartbeat, my parents 30 year marriage ended, and the house I grew up in was sold...and I felt like my childhood and all my innocence and foundation had been swallowed up and sold right along with it. My world as I had known it 6 months prior was completely unrecognizable. I had been very blessed to say I had suffered very little heartache or trauma my first 25 years of life....and then felt like I had been hit with a bundle of it all right at once.

My character became completely devoid of optimism.

But you know what I am seeing as I look back over the past few years? When God strips you of your "foundation", He allows you the opportunity to rebuild it again on the only real Solid Rock. And that, friends, is the only real immovable foundation. The only stability you can truly cling too. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He IS and WAS and IS TO COME.
Hallelujah.

I see today how He has pulled me out of the mud and mire, and has done so much more then return me to my old self, He has put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.

We dug into some deep, dark corners of my soul today, and I am grateful to see the Lord opening up areas of my heart that have been closed for so long. Open to allow hope and vulnerability again. Especially as we begin a new chapter of our life. We have been referred to a specialist, and in a few weeks have our first appointment. I am equal parts nervous, excited, scared, depressed and hopeful about this new step, and I would be eternally grateful if you would be in prayer for us. Something deep inside me is forcing me to be so open and humble and ask for prayer here...I guess I would feel less alone about tackling this whole thing if I knew I had others joining us in prayer...


On that note, I will leave with you some pictures of my Mother's day, 2009. A wonderful, peaceful day, spent with my mocha and my Jesus.



Happy Mother's day to all of you out there...whether your children are in Heaven, with you here today on this Earth, or yet to be conceived.

Anniversary Weekend

We got back yesterday from a wonderful, relaxing time in Astoria, Oregon. Neither of us had ever been there before, and we are attempting to be better about trying new places. Especially as there is a good chance we may not be living in this state next year, we want to see as much of it as we can!

We had a GREAT anniversary! Here is a card I got David. I saw it and right away just knew I had to get it:If you can't read that it says "Honey, it's here! The anniversary of the smartest decision you ever made". HA!

Don't worry I got him a real card too =)


David's parents sent us flowers, aren't they beautiful?



David got me the most thoughtful gift this year...
It's the Willow Tree angel for "Celebrate...with joyful anticipation".

A.MEN.

We celebrate five years of marriage, and with joyful anticipation await to see what God has in store for us in the years to come.

He also got me a book by Beth Moore "To Live is Christ". I can't wait to read it!

Isn't that sweet?!?!

I married well. =)


We had this amazing room at the Hotel Elliott.
It was HUGE!! And the bathroom had what I am now thinking is one of the greatest inventions of all time, heated stone floors!!
Happy feet =).


Astoria was a cute little Northern Coastal town. We enjoyed great food and drinks...
(ok so this picture is a little dark and blurry, and my hair is all frazzled and messy, but I am happy!)

We walked around downtown and enjoyed perusing the local shops. If you are ever in the need for old things or objects, have I got the store for you!...And let me tell ya, we went in side to confirm, and that store is very appropriately named!

We enjoyed beautiful weather on Sunday...

Played tic-tac-toe in a local coffee shop...a coffee shop with a slogan I could relate too...
Right!?!?!


We enjoyed sitting in the sun on our hotel's rooftop terrace...
Which had a great view during the day......and at night...
And on our last day, we channeled our inner Thelma and Louise as we crossed what I swear was the longest bridge known to man...

Happy anniversary, baby. And thank you for taking me on a wonderful weekend getaway. To the next five years...with all my love, my heart, my life, and with joyful anticipation.

5/1/04

Today is David and I's five year wedding anniversary!!

Five years ago today, we said I do. We promised to love, honor, and cherish each other until death parts us.


It was a wonderful day.


Being that our wedding was five whole years ago, digital cameras were a newer thing at that time, so most of our pictures are actually prints from film. We do have a disc or two of digitals, but they are in our wedding box buried in my closet, so I went with the easy route instead =). These are pictures of our pictures!!!

This one is our favorite...

We were blessed with such a beautiful day! Which in Oregon, in the Spring, is NOT always a guarantee!That's our bridal party. My best friend Tara & my friend Laura were my bridesmaids, and Dave's two brothers were his groomsmen. David's niece was our flower girl. (Tara's son -my Godson- was our ring bearer, but he was barely two and soooo done with pictures at this point! HA!)


The Lord really smiled on us that day...

That picture of a picture doesn't really do it justice...that is all natural light. The sun was just streaming in right on us through the windows.


I think one of the things that made our day so perfect, was that we had fun...

We call that one "the money shot", and I love it! It's in a little frame in our bathroom and I see it everyday as I get ready, and I think about how blessed I am to have married my best friend! A man who I love, respect, and have a blast with!!!!


We were relaxed pretty much the whole day, but the real relaxing came after the ceremony was done...
that was in our Pastor's office, to sign the marriage license. And yes, I wore flip flops down the aisle. They said "Just Married" on them =)



Then it was time for dancing...

And cake...
And lots of laughter and fun as we got ready to head out for our honeymoon...


we love that picture too. It's a candid of Dave and his parents just cracking up.


And of course, I had to properly announce my new status:
My sister Amanda took that shot right as we were getting ready to dodge the birdseed being chucked at us on the way to our car.

It was a great day.

And it's gotten even better since then. There is an innocence about our faces in the pictures above that I smile now when I see. So much promise ahead of us...

Things may not have gone exactly as we had planned out over these last five years, but they are exactly how our Father had planned them. And our lives are richer and our love deeper because of His plan for us. We are grateful, and blessed.

The last five years have not always been easy, and they haven't always been fun, but they have been us together. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

"Love...always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails"
1 Corinthians 13: 7-8