Does anyone out there have babies that went through this?
I have been reading a lot about it tonight, and it appears to really be something that some babies do go through.
Our babies appear to be going through it.
We HAD been down to a great sleep pattern. The babies would go to bed around 8pm, get up around 2-3am, and then go back down until 6:30-7am.
That lasted a few weeks and it was blissful.
Then it seemed they were back to twice a night feedings - growth spurt, we thought.
That last a week or two, and then back to once a night.
Suddenly, we have been having some rough nights again...
Last night, it was like having newborns again. They went down without trouble at 7:45pmish, and then Abbey woke up at like 9:30pm (which she never does). Dave went in and was able to just pat her back until she fell back asleep. Then she woke up at 11:45pm, and was just up until almost 3am. Wide awake. Not fussy, just awake. I nursed her to sleep two seperate times, and each time as soon as I laid her in her crib her eyes shot open and she started wiggling. I tried to let just her be for awhile to see what happened, but sure enough soon it turned to fussing, and then to crying, and I had to pick her up and get her out of there before she woke her brother up, because at that point I was so exhausted I couldn't handle the thought of two crying babies (and most likely a crying Momma).
She finally went down about 3am, and then Luke woke up at 3:45am, and then back up at 5:00am, and then back up at 6:15am.
What happened to our good sleepers???
Yes- without getting into the Great Sleep Training Debate, I will say our babies do know how to put themselves to sleep. Or at least they did...
So- tell me, did anyone else experience this around this age? If so, what did you do?
Also, to those of you that swaddled your babies, when did you stop? And, how did you stop? Did you go cold-turkey? Did you try the one-arm-out swaddle?
I ask because Abbey seems to be busting out of her swaddle constantly lately, and I am wondering if that is part of her problem. But the girl wiggles like crazy and is soooo close to rolling over, and I think that is part of what is keeping her up. But from what I have read, most babies aren't free of the "startle reflex" until about 6months, and we had always intended to swaddle them until they are through that phase, so they don't wake themselves up when they experience that reflex. Now I am wondering though if her attempting to wiggle herself out of her swaddle is part of what is keeping her up? Maybe we need to stop swaddling her and she has to learn to fall asleep without that???
Ok-here's where you all come in. Time to help a sista out!! All of you!! Family, friends, blog buddies, lurkers...advice please!!!!
I have been reading a lot about it tonight, and it appears to really be something that some babies do go through.
Our babies appear to be going through it.
We HAD been down to a great sleep pattern. The babies would go to bed around 8pm, get up around 2-3am, and then go back down until 6:30-7am.
That lasted a few weeks and it was blissful.
Then it seemed they were back to twice a night feedings - growth spurt, we thought.
That last a week or two, and then back to once a night.
Suddenly, we have been having some rough nights again...
Last night, it was like having newborns again. They went down without trouble at 7:45pmish, and then Abbey woke up at like 9:30pm (which she never does). Dave went in and was able to just pat her back until she fell back asleep. Then she woke up at 11:45pm, and was just up until almost 3am. Wide awake. Not fussy, just awake. I nursed her to sleep two seperate times, and each time as soon as I laid her in her crib her eyes shot open and she started wiggling. I tried to let just her be for awhile to see what happened, but sure enough soon it turned to fussing, and then to crying, and I had to pick her up and get her out of there before she woke her brother up, because at that point I was so exhausted I couldn't handle the thought of two crying babies (and most likely a crying Momma).
She finally went down about 3am, and then Luke woke up at 3:45am, and then back up at 5:00am, and then back up at 6:15am.
What happened to our good sleepers???
Yes- without getting into the Great Sleep Training Debate, I will say our babies do know how to put themselves to sleep. Or at least they did...
So- tell me, did anyone else experience this around this age? If so, what did you do?
Also, to those of you that swaddled your babies, when did you stop? And, how did you stop? Did you go cold-turkey? Did you try the one-arm-out swaddle?
I ask because Abbey seems to be busting out of her swaddle constantly lately, and I am wondering if that is part of her problem. But the girl wiggles like crazy and is soooo close to rolling over, and I think that is part of what is keeping her up. But from what I have read, most babies aren't free of the "startle reflex" until about 6months, and we had always intended to swaddle them until they are through that phase, so they don't wake themselves up when they experience that reflex. Now I am wondering though if her attempting to wiggle herself out of her swaddle is part of what is keeping her up? Maybe we need to stop swaddling her and she has to learn to fall asleep without that???
Ok-here's where you all come in. Time to help a sista out!! All of you!! Family, friends, blog buddies, lurkers...advice please!!!!
18 comments:
Lurkers? You ARE desperate.
Would like to help, but I've never swaddled my cats. I'm sure you'll get tons of helpful comments from others, though.
Yes! Both of my boys did this and thankfully my pediatrician had prepared me for it! It was when they started waking up like newborns that we introduced rice cereal. It seems early but my pediatrician said between 4-5 months they will stop sleeping through due to hunger.
We started with just 2 T of cereal mixed with either breastmilk or a tad bit of formula and water (I also added baby prunes because it made my boys constipated!) I made it fairly watery to begin with and then made it thicker as they got better about eating from a spoon. The dr told us to simply increase the amount of cereal until they were back to sleeping all the way through.
We swaddled our boys for about the first 2-3 months and then they started fighting us on it when we tried to wrap them and that is how we stopped. So when they started to really fight it we just didn't try anymore!
Hope this is helpful! Keep up the good work! :-)
If they are waking up crying, both in the night and in the morning, I would try putting them down to bed earlier. When Asher was 4 months old, he started waking up again, and it turned out he was overtired (the idea that babies stop sleeping when they are too tired blows my mind, but it's true). Asher went to be about 6 p.m. for at least a year, and it started at 4 mos.
I also wonder if they are starting to get hungrier? Have you tried cereal with them yet? That might make a difference.
I was never good enough at swaddling to make it work for us, but Asher had a sleep positioner that gave him that same snug feeling when he was little. Even though he slept on his back, he slept in the sleep positioner, and it worked wonders.
Silas never cared. Then again, I would not use Silas' baby days as a measure of what good sleepers should/would/could do.
It's great that they'll fall asleep on their own without you having to really push the issue. Both of mine did that, too, but they were older - about 8 months, I think?
My son is five and a half months old now so we just went through this. He had just started only waking up twice a night (very good for him!!!) and then all the sudden it was every other hour- I was about to loose it! I breastfeed but have now started giving him formula before bed and now he is back down to twice a night. I'm not sure if it's just a stage or if it was out of hunger but it does get better. I'm not much help but just now you are not alone. Good luck!!!!
Both of my girls had rough patches of sleep around this age, and it's completely normal! It's one of the biggest issues facing the parents I see during home visiting at around this age. The good news is, many babies will fall into rather adult-like sleep patterns starting at about 6 months. And some, not so much.
Again, let me consult my "twin mamas" and see what advice they have to share, and I'll get back to you.
As for swaddling, Sassy loved it, and she semi-swaddled her until around 8 or 9 months. We used on of the swaddles with the velcro and the bottom pocket, so as she grew longer, it wasn't able to contain her arms, and she was OK with that. Little A never liked the swaddle at all.
Hang in there, Kendra!
Oh, I am sorry! The phenomenon really DOES exist. Our girls were pretty much sleeping through the night until the 4 month sleep regression struck! The 4 month sleep regressions x 2 is tough, tough, tough! Every night my husband and I pray that they will sleep well. Sometimes they do okay, and other nights--not so much.
I pretty much could have written your blog about a month and a half ago (some nights I still could wake up and write it). The girls started getting up again at all hours, and were unable to soothe themselves back to sleep. What a struggle!
We, too, have continue to swaddle the girls (they will be six months on Wednesday--five months adjusted). They just seem so much more comfortable that way. But--I think that in so doing this, they have not learned how to soothe themselves (sucking on fingers/thumbs), so I really don't know what to do. We also have kept them in the same crib, which I love, but I think that we are quick to pick them up when they make noise, because we don't want to wake the other. I think that maybe, sometimes, that twin might be able to put herself back to sleep if we just held off a bit.
We have held off introducing solid foods. I, too, EBF our girls, and everything I've read says to wait until they are six months. We are waiting until they are six months adjusted for prematurity. I have several friends that have tried the rice cereal in an attempt to get their babies to sleep better, and each of those friends has said that it doesn't work. In many cases it has also caused the babies to be constipated. That was enough of a reason for me NOT to try that. I figure that we didn't need another challenge :)
My husband and I have been at a loss. The girls have been waking only an hour after they've been put down (sometimes one, sometimes both), and the only way we've been able to get them back down is either to nurse them again, or to rock/bounce them back to sleep. They nurse to sleep on the nursing pillow, and then when my husband picks them up to put them in bed, they bounce back awake. Sometimes it takes an hour and a half to finally get them both down, only to have them back up an hour later--ugh! I am adamantly opposed to letting them cry it out, so I need something else. We are tired!
SO-we have called reinforcements. We are going to see a sleep nurse on the 12th. I will definintely dish with any helpful hints she gives us. Sorry I don't have more helpful tips for you. Just wanted to let you know that you're certainly not alone. :)
Lurker here, mostly cause I found yours through another since I have a 6.5 month old, of course I was drawn to your blog:) Your babies are adorable and I seriously commend you for taking care of 2 newborns, you are quite the trooper!
Anyway, my son had some of this wakefulness and to be very honest, we let him cry, moan and groan it out. We didn't want to go in and make him think it was OK to be doing this. He wasn't hungry (i tried to feed him one of those times and he didn't want it) He was just awake. My doc said unless they are screaming bloody murder or you know they're sick, don't go to them to teach them it's night time, not feeding or play time-it's not abandonment, it's teaching them to just deal with it, which will be so much better in the long run-I'm so glad I took his advice. Ever since Sam was 3.5 months old, he's gone down at 7 or 7:30pm and we get him outta the crib at 7am. Such a blessing, even though a couple nights were hard for about a week. This works for some and some think it's mean-I certainly think it was right for us.
We swaddled him until he started rolling over. One morning we went in and he was on his tummy. I was terrified cause I didn't know how to break him of the swaddle since he always needed it so much. For two days, I napped him with arms out...the naps were a bit shorter and I knew it was a bit scary/new for him, but then at night, we just went cold turkey. No swaddle at all. He went down at 7pm, moaned for about 10 mins, then went to sleep. He then woke up crying for 5 mins around 10:30pm...we didn't go to him and sure enough, he just went right back to sleep. Ever since that night, he's been outta the swaddle and happy! He was just over 4 months old when we quit that.
Good luck and I hope some of that was even a little useful. :)
I forgot to mention, we started our little guy on rice cereal, then oatmeal mixed with fruit and veggies at 4 months as well (just little bits at a time and not in the bottle, out of a spoon). It took him a good 2 months to get the hang of eating out of a spoon, but I swear that helped him sleep better at night and feel fuller all around.
In regards to your questions...We let him cry it out for 45 min-1 hr a couple times. Luckily, he went to sleep after that amount of time, after those times we did it. I wouldn't have let him go longer though and I know that's probably not doable w/ the other baby in there. Have you thought about sleeping them separately? Seems weird, but I have a friend who started doing that because they would wake each other up...one would wake more at night and the other wouldn't, so she decided to do this. Worked great for her.
Also, he's normally awake right at 7, sometimes a little after, but we pretty much never go into him until right at 7 if he is awake. Again, we want him to know that 7am is good morning time and the time we start our day. If I were to go in when we hear him sometimes at 5 and 6am, he'd think it's time for play and that's to early for us :) If he is awake before 7 screaming, we'll get him, if he's just awake and making sounds and things, he's fine for a while longer.
For about a month, he slept til 8am and we'd wake him at that point so his nap schedule will stay on track (he naps at 10 am and again at 2 or 2:30pm right now)
Parenting is a journey, not a destination. You two are great parents. I wish I could just say, "Enjoy the journey." Truth is parenting is the most rewarding, frustrating, rewarding experience of my life. But, not all the journey is... fun.
Sometimes kiddo's get "restless" before/during a developmental stage. Does not mean necessarily that anything is wrong, or that they're going backwards... just growing up... and that can be a struggle.
Lots of good advice in the comments. Hooray for you for asking for advice.
LOVE,
GRAND DAD
Everything that Lindsey said in her comment was exactly what we had to do for Bryson. My sister-in-law had to do the same thing for her son and he's only 6 weeks old. But it's helped out tremendously.
This was about the time that Bryson started "busting out" of his swaddle blanket. hahaha!! I can't tell you how many mornings I would find him with one leg and one arm out. I finally decided he was probably telling me to get rid of the thing, so I did and now he does just fine. Just sleeps with a blanket every night. :)
Hope this helps!!!
Hey Kendra!
For my boys, when we stopped swaddling they slept better because they weren't fighting so hard to get free! Of course, with all new things it might take her some time to get used to it.
Hopefully your doctor will have some good advice for you on the sleeping situation too! I think the hardest thing is to know that your baby is capable of sleeping through and just stops suddenly, it's such a guessing game! Sometimes with our boys it came down to knowing that they could do it and just letting them work it out until they were back to sleep!
Good luck!
my pedi said to stop the swaddle by 4 months (he told me at hank's 4 month appt) because it could start to affect their gross motor skills?? that freaked me out so i quit cold turkey :-) i used sleep sacks to still keep him covered and by 5-6 months i was putting him on his belly. we have the angel care monitor so i felt ok doing that. and he was plenty strong to move around on his own. oh, and i changed out the bumpers and did the breathable ones...
We went through this with my daughter too. We did a bit earlier bedtime (though that was touch and go on working) and fed her every time she woke up. I would put her in the crib awake if she was having a wakeful moment and go back to calm/sooth if she started crying but I tried not to pick her up (she had just been fed/changed, she was just awake). Once she was calm I would leave again. Repeat, repeat, repeat. No fun at all but I did try to not pick her up unless she needed to be changed or it was time to eat again and eventually she grew out of it. I really think though that the phase helped her learn it was okay to be awake and in her crib. Not that I would willingly go through the phase of course. :) I can't help you much on the swaddle. We stopped swaddling in under a week, which made for a couple bad nights as she startled herself awake and slept in tiny snatches. (I remember sleeping in my bed with my hand off the edge and on her back in her cradle trying to keep her calm) She got used to it though and we really never swaddled after that.
We went through this with my daughter too. We did a bit earlier bedtime (though that was touch and go on working) and fed her every time she woke up. I would put her in the crib awake if she was having a wakeful moment and go back to calm/sooth if she started crying but I tried not to pick her up (she had just been fed/changed, she was just awake). Once she was calm I would leave again. Repeat, repeat, repeat. No fun at all but I did try to not pick her up unless she needed to be changed or it was time to eat again and eventually she grew out of it. I really think though that the phase helped her learn it was okay to be awake and in her crib. Not that I would willingly go through the phase of course. :) I can't help you much on the swaddle. We stopped swaddling in under a week, which made for a couple bad nights as she startled herself awake and slept in tiny snatches. (I remember sleeping in my bed with my hand off the edge and on her back in her cradle trying to keep her calm) She got used to it though and we really never swaddled after that.
Kendra and David....I think I KNOW how exhausted you are..well, maybe not. I only had one baby at a time. I remember being up all night at times.
I never swaddled any of you past about a month. I guess it never occurred to me to do it. They may be trying to find a finger or thumb. I also would wonder if they are wanting to roll over if it might be safer to not have their hands pinned in??
I do agree with the comments about the "next stage". They may be ready to roll over or run a marathon. Each time one of you were about to do something new, it disrupted your sleep.
I also agree with the comment about being overtired. It works for adults, too. Our minds get racing and it's just too hard to drift off. Some lazy days when we get a great night's sleep (remember?) we are more tired all day and could take a couple of naps. My saying is, "the more they sleep, the more they sleep". Now that they are more active they may need to go down a little earlier.
I would ask the lactation consultant about the cereal. When you guys were little it was never before 6 months.
If you decide to let them fuss, can you move one of them to the kitchen in the pack-n-play so you have a fighting chance of making that work?
My prayers are with you! You are doing such a great job :)
mom
Kendra. One more thought. I was awake and praying you and David weren't.
Emily would have slept through the night a whole lot faster if I would have realized early on that she was a hot sleeper. I supposed it's possible your babies are too warm being swaddled. I love you, mom
I stoppped swadaling when they could wiggle out of the the swaddle and started tucking blanket under them, that lasted a few daysLOL!! good luck!
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