Saturday, October 31, 2009

Lazy Saturday ramblings

Last night while we were out running errands for our hopefully soon move, I had the bright idea that we should stop by the store and run in real quick (and by "we", I mean David ran in while I stayed in the warm car) and buy some bacon, hash browns, and eggs so we could have ourselves a hearty breakfast when we woke up this morning.

Nothing like a protein packed breakfast to grow some babies!

So when I got up this morning, I got started on this delicious feast I had planned.

Have I mentioned lately that I am pregnant?? Well, in case I hadn't yet, I am. (And very, very, very, VERY excited about it!!) But one noted side effect of pregnancy is a new onset of scatter-brainess (is that a word?) or rather, the inability to focus.

I will admit, I have never exactly been great with this when it comes to cooking pre-pregnancy, but it's multiplied by like 1000 now.

I enjoy cooking, I really do. It's just I don't enjoy the standing there...just watching it. Not doing anything, just WAITING for the next step. I don't do that part well. I have a tendency to get distracted easily.

This morning I had the bacon going, and had just put the measured amount of oil in the pan to heat up for the hash browns. Realizing this was going to take a few minutes to heat up, and given my inability to just stand there and wait (see above paragraph), I decided to sit down real quick and write an overdue thank you note.

Well, I got so into my card that I didn't really remember breakfast and the aforementioned oil until the smoke alarm started blaring.


It was bad, people. Bad. Bad enough to send my asthmatic husband upstairs for a bit while we attempted to air out the entire bottom floor of our house.

Ok, Kendra, you gotta focus here...I told myself. Once the pan stopped smoking, I added the hash browns to it and made a mental note of the clock to flip them in 4 minutes.

I did real good and stayed right there by the stove the entire 4 minutes.

Monkeys can learn.

I continued to make bacon, got the eggs going, and then finally it was time to flip the hash browns. I did so. Perfectly cooked! Hooray for focus!!

I made a mental note of the clock again in order to remove them from the pan in 4 more minutes.

Well, apparently I was feeling a little arrogant about my so-far-hash-brown success, and I decided I could fold a quick load of laundry. I mean, who can't fold a load of towels in 4 minutes?

Me. I can't.

Black hash browns.

Curse words begin to fly out of my mouth.

I decide I will do nothing further but devote myself to what's left of breakfast at this point. I dutifully stand over the stove and literally watch bacon and eggs fry.

A few minutes later, I take stock of my breakfast project: Bacon... browning nicely. Eggs...just sitting there. Hmm...what's wrong with the eggs? I turn the burner up a bit.

I am ashamed to admit that it wasn't until 3 more pieces of bacon had completed the entire cooking process before I realized that I had in fact turned on the wrong burner for the eggs.


By the time the eggs were finally done, the bacon and charred hash browns were cold.

So...yes, in answer to the obvious question plaguing all of your minds right now, yes I will only be answering to the name "Suzy Homemaker" from now on.

On a different note, all weekend my mind has been preoccupied with the knowledge that our ultrasound is on Monday.

Am I nervous? Not so much, but I always get a little nervous before our doctor's appointments.

Old habits die hard.

But it's not nerves that's on my mind. It's the realization that in less than 48 hours from now, we will have seen our beautiful miracles again, we will have (hopefully, God-willing) gotten a great report about their progress, AND we will most likely have found out their sexes.

Monday I will learn if I have daughters, sons, or both a daughter and a son growing inside of me.

I can hardly believe it.

There are still many, many moments during the day that this doesn't feel real to me. I can't help but think that knowing more about my children will help this whole miracle sink in all the more. Being able to refer to them by name...oh how I look forward to that.

I get asked a lot if I have a preference. The honest answer is no. David and I are so overjoyed with this pregnancy and our two children, we can not imagine being disappointed at all. Each of the combination options sounds exciting and wonderful to us. What we really want, from the bottom of our hearts, is healthy children. Hand to God. If for some reason they are not able to tell us the sexes on Monday, that is ok with me. What my heart truly desires is a good report, that both babies have all the parts and organs they are supposed to, and that everything is working as it should.

I can not imagine asking for anything more, and I can not imagine finding any more contentment in my heart than knowing my babies are healthy.

Two more days.

Happy Halloween to all!!!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

16 weeks!

Today/Tomorrow, we are officially 16 weeks!!

The babies are doing A LOT of growing right now. In the next few weeks they will DOUBLE their weight, and add INCHES to their length. No wonder I am so tired =).

This weekend I have been just EXHAUSTED, and feeling a little under the weather. Since there are just so many scary things going around right now, I have pretty much laid low all weekend and not done much of anything (including my hair, as you will see in the below picture).

Here is a belly pic for 16 weeks:

Yup. Definite Bumpage.

And I love it!! It's so fun to really be showing and looking like a pregnant person (even if my rear end is getting bigger too! HA!)

I have waited years to be pregnant, and I am just loving it. I rub my belly all the time, and people ask me "oh, are they moving?" I can't feel them just yet, but I just LOVE to feel my round belly! When I catch glimpses of myself in the mirror or a reflective window, I usually stop and just stare for a moment...I still can hardly believe it!!

I lay in bed at night and rub my stomach and talk to the babies and pray for them. It's just so surreal to me at times that there are two amazing miracles growing inside me. Thank you, Lord.

Here's a pic has of what the twinkies look like this week:

Amazing. Simply amazing.

Although, I personally feel this chick better start pooching out a little more with her belly, or she and I are going to have some words soon!!!! That's hardly a baby belly they have on her!!!!! If she doesn't start looking bigger soon, she will officially be banned from my blog =).

A week from tomorrow we have our next ultrasound! I can hardly wait to see them again. It's been fun for Dave and I to see your votes here on the blog. Looks like boy/girl is winning so far! But boy/boy and girl/girl are tied with 11 votes each. The suspense continues... =)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

of Fear and such...

Friday night we went to the David Crowder Band concert, and I was still singing their lyrics on Sunday while driving home from Costco.

One in particular line continued to repeat over and over in my head "I'm finding everything I'll ever need. By giving up, gaining everything"

The Lord started to convict me, and it got me pondering what it means to "give up".

My mind immediately went to control.

I have a hard time giving up control.

Like with this pregnancy...I trust the Lord, but I still like to hang on to just a portion of the reigns, refusing to let go completely of my control over it.

Or rather, my illusion of control.

I was talking with Him about this and I tried to reason by saying "I am just afraid Lord, afraid of the ground being removed from underneath me, afraid of what might happen if I let go..."

And then He said something that greatly humbled me.

I do not need your permission, Kendra.

There was no scolding in His tone. Just a reminder that He is God, and I am not.

A reminder I was unaware I was desperately in need of.

The God of the universe is not waiting for me to grant Him approval to act or allow things to happen in my life.

He is not standing by, holding the pause bottom on letting calamity enter my world, until I have given Him the OK to do so.

This pregnancy has been going wonderfully so far because He has spoken it to be, not because my unwillingness to fully let go is granting me some supernatural power via my sheer will.

If God is going to allow something to happen to me or to our babies, it is going to happen, whether I am on board with trusting Him through it or not.

A peace began to wash over me as I let this Truth sink in.

One of the amazing things about the Lord is how He can show you something that humbles you, that reminds you of His Awesome Wonder and Power, and do it with such love.

I will -of course- continue to pray for the health and well-being of these two miracles He has allowed to grow inside me. I will also continue to ask people to pray for us as well.

I will -of course- continue to worry from time to time. There will absolutely be times that fear creeps in.

But the prayer of my heart is that the fear and worry will become few and far between, and that the trust in the God of the universe will become more frequent.

The rest of the chorus is now what is replaying over and over in my mind...Lord, let it be.

"Falling for You for eternity, Right here at Your feet,Where I wanna be. I am Yours."

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Friday Fun!

Yeah I know it's Sunday, but I am finally getting around to posting about Friday.

I worked in the morning, and then had the afternoon off...which is always a GREAT way to start a weekend.

But in order to tell you about Friday, I gotta back up for just a second to a few days earlier....

Tuesday evening I was watching "18 Kids and Counting", and in one episode they went to this mega consignment sale to shop for baby things. After the episode was over, I thought to myself "self, I wonder if there is anything like that in Portland..."

So, I turned on my laptop and googled "consignment sales in portland oregon", and guess what I found?

There was a GIANT one, that only happens twice a year, happening THIS VERY WEEKEND!!

Can you say Sweetness?


Dave's parents were already coming up on Friday for some fun evening plans we had, and I asked them to come a little early so my mom-in-law could go shopping with me.

It was AMAZING. There was SO much stuff, I pretty much needed a nap when we were done.

The highlight of my purchases was this:The Double Snap-N-Go stroller. These things retail for $100. I got mine used and in GREAT condition for $40.

Say it with me again...


I have a strong feeling it will come in really handy when the babies are teeny and in their infant carriers. It's just a shell of a stroller, meant for their carseats (which my mom generously offered to purchase for us - thanks mom!) to just pop right in there and go! Hooray!!

And just in case we hadn't had enough fun shopping, we had an even more fun evening ahead....

That's right. We saw The David Crowder Band in concert!!!

It was an amazing night of Worship, with great music and fun entertainment. They put on a SUPER show!It's too early for me to feel the babies move yet, but I have a feeling they were really enjoying the music too!! =)

Happy Sunday all.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Magically delicious

Dear Babies,

I just wanted to write you a preemptive apology.

I want you to know I try and eat healthy during the day. I try and eat plenty of protein, calcium, carbs, and fruits. Vegetables have not been my friend lately, but I try and sneak them in when I can.

The evenings however, are a different story. I usually feel quite queasy, and few things sound good.

One particular food, always sounds ok, and you two seem to like it, because it has not come back up...yet.

I try and tell myself it's ok because there is calcium and other good things inside this tasty cereal, but I also worry about my nutrition and am acutely aware that I am in charge of feeding you. And what I eat, you eat.

I also have some small fears you both are going to come out slightly resembling any of the following shapes...

Maybe I will try carrots again tomorrow evening....


Thursday, October 8, 2009

Happy Thursday Night!

Tonight's episode of The Office will have Jim and Pam's wedding...makes me happy =).

So don't call me between 9pm and 10pm tonight. I am very busy.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


The other night, I hustled into the kitchen to lean over the sink and throw up my dinner.

After I puked, I laid my head down on the kitchen counter for a minute, to rest and also to see if any more was going to come up.

As I rested there, I couldn't help but smile.

I am just so happy.

Puking isn't fun, but I couldn't care less. I have waited YEARS to be sick from pregnancy, and I will gladly take all of it.

It is a very small price to pay.

I am so incredibly grateful.

Monday, October 5, 2009

So in love!!

Today we had our 13 week appointment. Because this pregnancy is considered high risk, we will have an ultrasound every month to monitor the babies, make sure they are both growing properly, make sure I am not showing any signs of pre-term labor, etc.

Here are today's snap shots:

Baby A

Baby B

Both Babies!

It was so much fun to see them again, and both David and I were in awe of how much they had grown! They are both measuring right on track, and we got to see pictures of their arms, legs, heads, brains, stomachs, and heartbeats...everything looked great!

Thanks be to God!!!!

Today their heart rates were both in the 150's, which is much higher than they were at 6 1/2 weeks (115 and 124 at that time).

Baby A was soooo active! Dave was watching the baby move all over the place and he asked me "you really can't feel that??" Nope. It's too early for me to feel movement. But man that baby was sure having fun! Baby B was much more calm and only moved around a little, then pretty much chilled out the rest of the time. I wonder if that's indicative of their personalities....??

We will go back in Nov 2nd for our next appointment, and since we will be 17 weeks at that point, the ultrasound tech said they should be able to determine their genders at that time....hooray!!!!

We honestly don't care if we have 2 boys, 2 girls, or one of each. Whatever God gives us will be perfect. I am going to put a little poll up on the side of my blog (once I figure out how!) for you all to vote what you think they's so fun for me to hear peoples guesses! I have NO INSTINCT what-so-ever. Dave thinks it's 2 girls. Guess we will see in a month!!

Thanks again for all your prayers! We can feel them!!!!

Friday, October 2, 2009

Thank you!!!

Thank you so much for all your wonderful and loving comments to our last post!! I cried at every single one of them (especially yours Uncle David!). And I cry every single time I watch the video...which is probably about 1,248 times by now =).

Needless to say, we are OVERJOYED!!!

This is such a miracle, such a blessing, and words cannot properly express how very grateful we are.

I am in the process of writing an epic post about how we got here. The problem is, it's been an over 3 year long journey, and so there is a lot to write about. Also, I so want to glorify God in what I say, so it is a matter of a lot of prayer.

After all, it is His story, not mine.

Thank you to all of you who are continuing to lift us up in prayer, I am so grateful for that. Things have been going perfectly so far (thank you Jesus!), but because this pregnancy is with twins, it is automatically a high risk pregnancy. We will take all the prayer we can get!

I have been doing pretty good most of the time at remaining peaceful and hopeful...but every once in awhile fear sneaks in and just grips me. It is so hard not to be afraid. I know this is just satan, as God did not give us a spirit of fear. But sometimes it feels overwhelming. I am afraid we are going to lose one or both of them, afraid something is going to be wrong with them, and most often, afraid they are going to come too early. As most of you know, my niece was born at 26 weeks, and although God has been so gracious and she is doing wonderful today, I have seen what a hard road it has been for their family. I worry so much that I wouldn't be able to handle it with the strength and faith my sister has.

My doctor is very positive and hopeful about these little twinkies staying in until they are full term. To quote her, they will have me under "tight surveillance" to watch for any signs of pre-term labor. We trust our doctor, and we trust our Jesus, so we will just keep praying both babies grow healthy and strong and stay put until they are at least 36 weeks.

Will you please join us in praying for this? THANK YOU!!!!

I believe very much in the power of prayer!!

And speaking of the power of prayer, I want you to know I prayed so hard when making that little annoucement video. I wanted so much for God to get all the glory in this, and also I prayed for peace for those viewing it. I know there are so many women -many of you whom I consider dear friends- who are waiting still. Women who would be happy for us, but sad for them. I know that feeling so well, and it breaks my heart. I know what it is like to see someone make their pregnancy annoucement and although you have joy for them, your heart just aches with hopelessness and worry that you will never be making an annoucement like that yourself.

I want you to know I am praying for you, harder than ever. If you are on this blog, I am praying for you. And if you are not, but you would like me to be praying, please email me and let me know. Or if you have any specific prayer requests that you don't feel like sharing in a comment, please email me. I know I have emailed so many of you who are on the other side of infertility while I was going through so much and it provided AMAZING encouragement for me!! I would be honored to do the same for someone. Truly.

And lastly, I need some advice from all of you. Mom's, aunts, grandma's, or anyone who has ever changed a diaper =). What kind do you recommend? We want to start stocking up now by buying some diapers each paycheck, so that we aren't completely overwhelmed when the babies come. Do the Kirkland (Costco brand) work well? Do we HAVE to buy Huggies??? (they are just so expensive!!).

Thank you!!!