Saturday, April 25, 2009

Beth Moore & blogging

What an amazing speaker that woman is!! I know, I know, she is just a woman. Just a human. Imperfect, just like me. But there is something about the way in which she communicates her passion for Jesus that just stirs my soul.

I wrote once before about how for a long time I was skeptical of the whole Beth Moore craze. I would her women rave about her and smugly think to myself "why do people worship her? People should worship Jesus, not Beth Moore."

Let me tell you, she feels that way too!!

She is always praying "Lord, help me not to get in the way!" and always commenting on how she is "the least of you". And the thing that impressed me most about her conference last weekend, was how much she did not want any glory. There was never any introduction "and here comes Beth Moore!!!!" or anything like that. We would be singing, and then just all of a sudden she would appear on stage and start talking, leaving no room for applause. And the same for when she and her team left the stage, even for the final time on Saturday afternoon, they just snuck off stage quietly while we were worshiping... gone.

That, to me, is a woman who does not want any glory.

The theme of the weekend was pretty much on crucifying our egos, and letting Christ be formed in us. To be honest, when she first started talking about our egos on Friday night I was a little disappointed...

My issues tend to be more low self-esteem than big ego.

Or so I thought.

Turns out, through the scenario's and examples that she gave, I realized my ego is pretty decent sized.

Ginormous, actually.

The things I feel I am due, or the ways in which I feel I am wronged, or the times in which I think I know what would be better and try to "advise" the Lord....oh yeah, big ol' ego!!

It was very humbling. But in a really good way.

I left with a sense of peace, humility, and a trust in His plan for me... and a desire to try to get in the way of that plan less =)

And now to the "blogging" part...

One of the things that I felt hit me square between the eyes was when she was talking about marriage, and how hard it can be sometimes. She was going on about relationships and nurturing them... when all of a sudden she says "...and sisters, I say this with love, put down your computers. I see so many women spending countless hours on their computers investing time in relationships with people they hardly know, while the person they should be nurturing a relationship with is right there next to them."

Ummm....who, me??

Like I said, square between the eyes. There are days when I can spend the entire evening -from after dinner until bedtime - online. You all are just so fun and interesting =)

Last term when David worked evenings, I was alone every evening and had plenty of time to read blogs and blog myself. But this Spring term, he is home, every evening, and he deserves my attention.

I felt a huge conviction about this last weekend. Not guilt, it was just an attention getter for me. My marriage isn't perfect, and what marriage couldn't use a little more dedication, really??? And other things...there really is no excuse for me to be behind on my Bible Study, or time with the Lord, and yet caught up on blogs.

I don't say that to instill guilt or convict ANYONE else, this is just what the Lord has asked of me.

I hope you hear my heart...I am not AT ALL trying to say blogging is a relationship-destroyer. In fact, it has helped me in SO many ways, in that it's been a wonderful outlet for me, and a great place for me to come and feel safe to express my emotions, record my days for preserving memories, etc. And most important, I have met some of the neatest friends here! And I say this with my whole heart, I really do love you ladies!!!

I just feel the Lord whispering on my soul to spend less time investing in it.

And I have been trying to obey His direction regarding this during the past week, and as a result am catching up on my blog friends previous weeks posts today...and it is striking to me how many of you have posted something similar to this...I wonder what God is up to!?! He sure seems to be beckoning so many of us to be a little more still.

Peace be with you!!!


Monica @ Writer Chic said...

I have to admit, I'm glad you didn't say you were taking a blogging break. I'd miss you terribly. But I hear you loud and clear. My new laptop came today, and I'm already guilty. In fact, even as I tpe this, Jim is sitting here, waiting to watch "Fireproof" with me. Shame on me. So, I'm hitting post, and shutting down the laptop. Thanks for the nudge. Hugs.

Lori said...

Right when I started getting into reading blogs Kevin was gone literally every evening (he's a b-ball official). So I had the time to do it. Now he is home almost every evening, and I totally understand what you mean. It cannot be good for a marriage to be on the computer every night. It is so easy to get so caught up in the blog world. I have met so many wonderful women, but it cannot come before something way more important. Do what you can handle, and I'm sure the Lord will reward you in the end!!

jlc said...

Oh my gosh! I was just thinking the EXACT same thing today at Church.

It's like we find time for blogging and yet, where is the time spent on Him??

Love your blog! Hope you don't mind if I follow along??

Faith said...

Amen sister! I am with you 100% on this. I pray that we would all strive to have our priorities in order and follow the Lord's leading in how we spend our time. May He be first in our lives!

Heather said...

It is hard to prioritize sometimes, isn't it?

I usually use nap time for my girls to do my "computer stuff". You know, time that I should be spending by doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen, preparing dinner...

I hope you are able to find a balance that works for you!!

Becca said...

Great post, Kendra! I am also feeling challenged to re-evaluate how much time I spend online (blogging, facebook, email, etc.) It is so easy to turn computer time into an "idol" and put it before other important tasks (and people). Thanks for the reminder.

Heather said...

GIRL.....I literally got chills when I read this. PUT DOWN YOUR COMPUTERS!!! So true! I want so badly to find the balance....not to lose touch with my bloggy friends but prioritize Jesus and my husband and soon to be KIDS! (Um...yeah....PLURAL!!!) I am going to be praying that we all find that balance.

Lacy said...

I was wondering where you had been!! I am glad you enjoyed the Beth Moore conference. I completely understand what you mean! Time is so precious. We HAVE to make the most of it, with the important people in our lives. I do most of my blogging at work (bad, but better than during my spouse time...ha ha).

Lauren Kelly said...

WOW!!!! You were so dead on Kendra as far as blogging is concerned!!

tara said...

you have blogged exactly what i for one, needed to hear. really. thank-you.
finding balance as a wife,mom and for yourself is truly tough. But when you hear something clearly you have to listen.
thank-you again! Have a blessed week! -Tara

The Browns said...

Hey Kendra!
I was just going through the prayer blog & wanted you to know I was thinking about you!