Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Milestones

My son didn't walk until he was nearly 14 months old. 
Both my children had their Ni-Nights (binkies) until their 3rd birthday.
They are currently just shy of 3 and 1/2, and we've just started to really focus on potty training.

Why?

Because, honestly? I just don't care too much about those things.

I firmly believe those things will happen in time.

What I care about is their character.

Are they kind? Are they respectful? Are they loving? 
Do they believe in forgiveness? In extending and receiving grace? 
Do they know how valued they are by David and I? By Christ?

Those are the battles I will fight all day long. Those are the things I will work with them on, day in and day out. When I collapse into bed at night, exhausted; if it's from building character, so be it. I can accept that as a part of parenting. As my calling to train my children up.

But if I spend the greatest portion of my day focusing on something such as potty training, I tend to be more exhausted, and annoyed. I suppose that's because it's not like the character training takes the day off while you're working on something new. And also because, let's face it, it's a different kind of tedious.

I know things like potty training and getting rid of binkies are a part of parenting. I get that. We work on our letter recognition, and counting skills. We make sure we read books and eat veggies.
But we don't stress about meeting milestones.
 I just don't think they are crucial to any certain timeline. I used to joke that I didn't care if my kids went to college with their binkies, and it was kinda true. 
I don't have energy to sweat the supposed deadlines of those kinds of milestones.
We'll get there. We will hit each of them. I know we will, so I don't really worry about them or focus on them.
But character? That deserves my attention at all times.

3 comments:

The Writer Chic said...

AMEN!

Vanessa's Dad said...

As a Parent of Many (call me Abraham... sort of), I applaud your priorities. You and Noah are TERRIFIC parents, and the fruit of your efforts are your lovely two kiddos.

LOVE,
GRAND DAD

Stephanie said...

Preach, friend.

Also, those milestones just work themselves out. Kids eventually go potty, give up their pacis, drink from an open cup, whatever. It just ... happens, in time. Plus I kind of think they do those things BETTER when their parents have less invested in the milestones.