Friday, March 25, 2011

On seasons...

For the three years that we dated and the first year of our marriage, David and I always spent Spring Break with our Church on a mission trip in Mexico. After weeks of planning and preparing, we'd travel down there in cargo vans and spend time building a house and running a VBS.

The last time we went on this trip was in 2005, yet for years after when March rolled around we felt reminiscent for it. Something about the days...the weather...the beginning of sunlight...the trees starting to bud...the smell in the air...whatever the reason, even if neither of us had been near a calendar, we could tell you it felt like Mexico time.

It was a subconscious awareness.

This year, this Spring, this March, I find myself brought back to this time last year. I have been thinking about that time often lately. It's in the air.

Exactly one year ago today, I wrote this post.

Little did I know a year later so many of my mornings would still be starting around 4:40am =).

Over the last several days, I have found myself incredibly reminiscent of this time last year. It was such a peaceful time. A quiet time. Our house was FINALLY out of closing purgatory, and we were moved in and settled. My pregnancy had made it all the past 36 weeks. It was all gravy time. Dave and I were just hanging out, waiting for our babies to make their debut.

As I reflect on how peaceful things felt back then, it's made me question why things often feel so different now. I mean, besides the presence of two one year olds =). It's more than that. I realize now how much I made time for stillness then. I made time for prayer and meditation. I was very kind to myself.


Because I was keenly aware of what an important job I was doing in the growing of two people.

I never over committed myself. I made sure to get plenty of rest. I made sure to eat some protein every few hours. Et cetra, et cetra.

I gave time to the Lord, every day. I was aware that if I could not do it all without His help. I needed Him daily to protect my mind from fear. I knew - KNEW- I was not in control, and I needed Him to help me trust in His His goodness.

And then the twins were born.

And I promptly tried to take back over control of my life.

And things have been far less peaceful since.

I wonder how much quieter my soul would be - and how much more peaceful my home - if I did a better job at taking care of myself, and taking time for stillness...


Vanessa's Dad said...

Like when you write a reflective blog?

JBC Mexico Mission trips. They were just on my heart, too, recently. I have many XXL T-shirts from those trips, that I still wear. For some reason this week, I was more aware of the reason they were made.


Aunt Carol said...

Half the battle is just being aware of the need to take care of yourself, carve out quiet time, let go of some things, etc. You're already at that point so I have no doubt you'll soon find ways to actually implement some strategies to do just that.

Lauren said...

WOW, this is good, Kendra!!! I think we could ALL use some time of stillness!!!!

The Chinchilla Family said...

Great post! Thanks for sharing!!