Tuesday, December 30, 2008
But yesterday it was time to return to reality.
I work at a Cardiology Clinic, and there are 18 cardiologists and 4 surgeons whose schedules are managed by 4 1/2 of us. All of their surgeries, procedures, appointments, meetings, etc are taken care of by us...the Few, the Proud, the Schedulers.
On an average day I have 6-8 "documents" on my desktop on the clinic's computer system. 6-8 things that need to be scheduled or taken care of. Now that may not seem like a lot, but some of the surgeries and procedures that we schedule are very involved. So you have those 6-8 documents, then you throw in the regular daily clinic follow ups, the emergencies that come up and totally foul up the schedule, the phone calls, emailing, blogging, etc -you know, all the important tasks that make up my average work day- and all of a sudden it's a busy day.
Why am I telling you all this?? Two reasons. One, because it's my blog and I have always reserved the right to ramble about whatever I choose and Two because by painting you a picture of an average day I will have helped you understand why yesterday was different and possibly even earned your sympathy.
Yesterday when I came in I had 18 documents on my desktop.
Oh, and my boss is off this week and I am her coverage when she is out.
She had 32 documents on her desktop.
Oy Vey again.
Luckily our clinic director recognized that the Schedulers -even though we all had our Semper Fi attitude about us- were going to be completely swamped all day. She took our Starbucks orders and went and got us that precious fuel. I have said it before and I will say it many times over...God bless the coffee bean.
I decided right away to just take one thing at a time and do my best not to feel overwhelmed. I was determined not to let this wonderful feeling of relaxation and peace that I had gained with so much time off slip away within 24 hours of returning to regular scheduled programming.
And Praise Jesus - it worked!! There were a few moments during the day that were particularly overwhelming, but I took a deep breath, shrunk all the things on my screen and stared at the picture of Dave and I in Hawaii that is the wallpaper on my computer...it is my happy place =-).
I feel all this time off has been such a gift. I had so much time to just relax and feel absolutely none of the pressure of the daily grind. It has granted me such perspective and peace... and I want it to linger just awhile longer. Perhaps even stay for good if possible. I wonder if that is asking too much...
Ok, back to work now =-)
Sunday, December 28, 2008
...and I have LOVED IT!!!! We have been hanging out, staying up late, sleeping in late, watching TV, watching lots of movies, reading, and eating. And boy do I mean eating. As I type this I am sitting here praying my work pants will fit for tomorrow.
Something about being snowed in...and Christmas time...and just being so warm and cozy (because you know my wardrobe this week has consisted of sweats and more sweats) has made me want to bake. I had made some holiday goodies earlier in the month and delivered those to friends and neighbors already, but I had the itch to bake some more. I made mint chocolate brownies last weekend when the storm first started, and those were gone in an instant. I had bought some M&M's on one of our treks to the store, and I decided some M&M cookie bars sounded good. And yum, they so did not disappoint!! So, as the days wore on everytime I walked through the kitchen I would cut myself a little bite of this delicious cookie bar. A bite here, a bite there....just nibbles really...
And then Friday night I noticed my yummy treat was almost gone. I turned to David as I was having another nibble and carelessly said "can you believe we've almost eaten that whole pan already?!" and then to my horror he replied "Kendra I haven't eaten any of that except for that piece you brought me the first night you made it."
"So you mean I have eaten almost an entire pan of cookie bars BY MY SELF?!?!" I shriek.
"Look's that way" he says.
Now, granted this is only an 8x8 pan, it's not like it's a 9x11 or heaven forbid an 11x13, but still.
At this I begin to panic a little and convince myself I must have been mistaken and there must still be more in the pan than I remember, so I go back into the kitchen and this is, in fact, what I saw...
For shame, Kendra. For shame.
My sweet husband then comes to my rescue and offers "do you want me to go eat those remaining pieces so that you didn't eat it all your self?"
I quickly say "yes please!" and then think it through and say "well, I mean let me just have one last bite..."
Oh Weight Watchers...will we ever be friends again??
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Everybody take a minute and go read it...I'll wait here...=-)
Wasn't that beautiful?? I feel it was just another nudging on my soul from the Lord. I have heard Him telling me a lot of the same thing lately...that children are a gift from Him.
I know, you'd think I would have known that already.
What can I say...I am hard headed.
But the thing is, even though I had heard that verse a hundred times, I don't think I ever fully grasped it until recently.
You see, I have been humbled so much by this realization lately...I do not deserve a baby.
Ugh, those are hard words to type.
But it's the truth, I do not deserve to be a Momma. It is not something I can earn. I am not worthy of it, never will be.
I have struggled with being in the habit of thinking that I am a "good" person. And "good" people deserve to be parents.
Looking back, I think that's one of the things that shocked me the most when our miscarriage happened. I didn't even realize it until later, but something I struggled with so much was that I felt it was all so unjust. How could that have happened to us? We had it all planned out, all our ducks in a row... we had been married 2.5 years, had a 4 door car, a savings account, and we trusted in the Lord. Sounds like a perfect couple to bless in my mind!!
*If anyone is still reading this blog after that admission of my horrible, selfish pride, please rest assured knowing that the Lord has spent the last two years humbling me.*
Thank you Lord, for teaching me humility, and for being gentle with me during the process.
He knew that I have been in desperate need of this humility, because the truth is, I don't deserve it. I don't deserve His blessings. Any of them. The ones I have had, the many I currently have, and the many I will receive in the future.
The reality is I am a sinner.
What I deserve is an eternity spent in Hell.
But -by the grace of God alone -not only am I spared an eternity in Hell, I have been so blessed in my earthly life as well.
The realization and acceptance of such things has come as both a burden and relief.
It seems a burden to acknowledge that I do not deserve this blessing and in fact may not receive it. And at the same time it's a relief to know there is absolutely nothing I can do to earn it. It's in God's precious hands...
With all this type of thinking, and then with Heather's post about the miracle of Mary's immaculate conception, it seems fitting to end this post with my very favorite Christmas song.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
8 Shows I watch:
1. The Office
3. Friends reruns (SOOOO with you Heather!!)
4. 30 Rock (just started though...finally finding it funny! Did anyone see the Oprah episode- funny stuff!)
5. A Baby Story (and I cry EVERY time)
6. Jon & Kate + 8
7. 17 Kids and Counting
8. Everybody Loves Raymond reruns
8 Favorite Restaurants:
1. The Melting Pot....yummmmm
2. Romano's Macaroni Grill
3. The Olive Garden
4. Red Robin
5. Dinicola's (Italian place here in Ptown)
6. L&L's Hawaiian Barbecue
7. Blind Onion Pizza
8. El Mirador
8 Things that happened to me today:
hmmmm....slow day to answer this question!
1. Slept in -Praise Jesus!!2. Watched the blizzard outside
3. Read blogs until my eyes hurt...took a break and am back in the game!!
4. Made Kelly's breakfast casserole for the first time - and as is the case with all Kelly's recipes, it was delicious!
5. Did laundry...I know, I live a fascinating life.
6. Ate a shameful amount of mint chocolate brownies.
7. Watch National Lampoons Christmas Vacation - it's a Christmas tradition!
8. Drink hot cocoa...and perhaps eat more brownies
8 Things I look forward to:
1. Getting pregnant... and praising God for His miracle!
2. Hearing our babies heartbeat...and praising God for His miracle!
3. Holding our baby for the first time...and praising God for His miracle!
4. Seeing all the names on this blog with a "praise" next to them! And praising God for ALL His miracles!!
5. Heading "home" in a few days to spend Christmas with our families!!
6. Our 5th wedding anniversary in May
7. Seeing my cutie pie niece again!8. Seeing Jesus for the first time (Copying you Heather!) will I dance for Him? Will I fall to my knees?? Probably lot's of both =-)
8 Things I wish for:
1. See # 1 on the previous question
2. See #2 on the previous question
3. See #3 on the previous question
4. See #4 on the previous question =-)
5. Jim and Pam to stay together on The Office...noble I know...
6. Fat free macaroni and cheese that tastes just as good as regular macaroni cheese
7. A "Friends" reunion
8. To go back to Hawaii again!!
8 People I tag:
And anyone else who wants to play! Have fun =-) And thanks Heather for the tag!!
Friday, December 19, 2008
So this is our Christmas card this year....simple but cute =)And then here is the inside:Ok I hope you all can forgive me, I know it is sooooo tacky that this card is filled out to Dave's cousin Korri, but since I had sent out every single card we had before I knew about this, I didn't save a spare to participate with! So this is one that came back in the mail...guess we need cousin Korri's new address!
The greeting inside says:
in your Christmas too-
may the joy of Jesus
be a blessing to you!"
And that, friends and family, is truly my prayer for each and every one of you!!
The Scripture at the bottom says: "Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing..." Romans 15:13.
And then here's a pic of the beautiful cards I got from Liana:I think I will be ordering more cards from her in the future!!!
Alright, well thanks so much for stopping by!
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
The long and short of it all is we had an AMAZING vacation!! Thank you all so, so much for your prayers!! The weather was...well, not great...but it was still better than being here in a blizzard! (I actually love the snow- I think it's so pretty, but The Husband does not).
So after a red eye flight that landed early today, and a long nap this morning, the rest of the day has consisted of unpacking, laundry, and re-acclimating to the ways of home =). It's late, but I will now be posting an obnoxious amount of pictures in addition to going on and on about every detail of our days in Hawaii... consider yourselves warned!
Extra! Extra! Read all about it!!! (If you can't read the headline - it says "Storm Wallops Oahu!") And wallop it did!! We flew into a monsoon. No joke. It was so turbulent the last hour or so of our flight I spent all my time in equal amounts praying that God would spare us and looking at the motion sickness bag wondering if I was in fact gonna need to use it. Thank you God, not only were we spared, but I did not vomit on the plane. Hallelujah!
Breakfast out on the lanai of our hotel the first morning. Not a bad view to look at while eating breakfast and drinking your morning coffee!
We ventured out our first morning to explore the areas around our hotel. There was this beautiful park with these incredible looking trees. Don't they look like they should be on the set of "Lost" or something??
I am such a lawbreaker.
Our first morning on the beach!! And glimpses of sunshine!!
David ventured in right away. I on the other hand waited for a little more sunshine. I do not like to be cold!! I told David I am too pretty to be cold by choice! HA!
My first pretty little girly drink with an umbrella in it!! Just like the festive red cups at Starbucks somehow make their drinks taste better, a cocktail tastes so much better with a pretty pink umbrella in it!!
One of those freaky mimes. I found them fascinating. They scared David though! HA!
At Cheeseburgers in Paradise....Yum!
Waikiki at night.
Day two. A little cloudy, but we did some beachin' anyways!!
A quick walk into downtown before another storm came...
...and that storm forced us off the beach and into the hotel. More fruity umbrella drinks!
Another storm wallops Oahu. Awesome.
We tried to keep ourselves entertained by playing cards and watching old episodes of "Saved By the Bell" - Go Bayside! I was tempted at this point to get a little cranky, but after spending some time in my biblestudy I was reminded how much Satan just wants to steal our joy. I was also reminded that "This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it". And that put things into perspective rather quickly. God Himself had made this day, and rain or shine, I was going to enjoy it. Afterall, I was on vacation rather than at work, I hadn't done a dish, made a bed, or washed a single article of clothing in days, and I was with my very favorite person. Certainly could be worse!! =-)
These advisories kept running along the bottom of the TV. We had to take a picture of this, because it actually said "...don't drown".
They are a simple people, the Hawaiians.
The next day's paper. So it wasn't just Oahu...Kauai got pretty beat up too. A tornado?!? Seriously?!?
The next morning brought us sunshine!! Hooray!! There was a marathon this day, and all these people were sweating as they were running 26 miles passed our hotel. I was eating pancakes.
We decided to take advantage of the sunshine and hike Diamond Head. Isn't it beautiful? My sister Amanda and her husband Noah got married on top!
Cheesy grins at the base =-)
At the half way point.
The view from the top.
What a sweaty, happy couple!
I felt we deserved a treat after our hike!! After eating this sno-cone (AKA:sugar syrup over ice, or rocket fuel) I was seriously talking 100 miles a minute from the sugar rush!
Next days hike -Manoa Falls.
Trying to hike off some of those fruity drinks I had been having nightly...
In the bamboo forest.Almost there...
Top of the trail!!
And back at the bottom.
Pretty stinkin' proud of ourselves!!
Our last night in Hawaii we went to a luau...
... and got some fake tattoo's by some natives. I know, you are jealous...
...and watched this man climb a coconut tree...
... and these people dance...
...and this guy dance with fire....ooohhhh....ahhhhh...=-)
God blessed us with some sunshine our last day =-)
And a beautiful sunset...
So that's our trip in a nutshell!! I know this post is full of random pics and tidbits, but the jetlag has kicked in, and it's late and I gotta work in the morning, so I'm off to bed, but I plan on catching up on your blogs tomorrow and Friday!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
I am beyond excited!! I took a half day at work today, and when the clock hit noon I literally jumped up and down!!! I almost yelled out "YABBADABBADOOOO!!" Fred Flintstone style, but I figured I probably shouldn't as there were people there already in heart failure (I work at a Cardiology clinic) and I probably shouldn't add to their stress. Ha!
I left work, went tanning for the last time, had an appointment with my chiropractor (God bless that woman!), did a little Christmas shopping, and just came home to finish packing up! HOORAY!!
And, I am really proud of us for doing this. This trip has been a long time coming, and it has been so great to have something on the books to be excited about. For two years now we have put off planning anything big because we always assume we will get pregnant... which has just made this whole time in our lives that much more depressing. For two years I have told myself "by next Christmas we will be pregnant for sure", or "by our next anniversary I will have a baby in my arms", and then instead of enjoying these events in our lives, they feel like markers of failure.
So, this summer when I really felt the Lord ask me to lay aside my obsession about getting pregnant and just enjoy the blessing of my life as it is right now, we decided to plan this trip!
And now tomorrow we leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My toes are painted, my back is adjusted, my bags are packed, I have my People magazine to read on the plane, my sweet sister in law is taking care of our house and kitties (and she will do a fabulous job- Hi Risa!)...I think I am officially ready!Have you ever seen a cuter suitcase??
See you guys in a week!! We aren't taking our laptop with us because you all are just way too interesting and I have absolutely no self-control when it comes to reading blogs...I would spend our whole vacation online! So, I will catch back up with you all in a week.