Home from the doctor. No UTI. Praise Jesus.

Thanks so much for all your advice and prayers yesterday! I love blogging for many reasons, and that is one of them. Yesterday after I hung up with the nurse I said aloud "how am I supposed to do this?" and right away I thought of you all. Some other momma out there in Blogland had to have been in a similar situation before! Such a great community.

Happy UTI-Free Tuesday all.

Any helpful tips?

Alright ya'll, I need some help.

Abigail has had a 102 fever since Saturday afternoon, but for the most part has been acting like her happy self. She slept terrible Saturday night, but slept okay last night. She's a little clingy today, but otherwise just fine. She has no other symptoms (no runny nose, no rash, not puking, etc), but I called the ped this morning to just check in, and she is worried about a possible UTI.

So, now I have to try and catch a clean urine sample.

How on earth do I do this with a 14 month old girl?

If I can't catch one today, they will cath her at our appointment tomorrow morning. I will pretty much do anything to avoid having to hold my baby girl down while they do that, so I'm open to any suggestions you all can offer me.

Have any of you been successful at doing this?

Thanks.


***UPDATE***

WE HAVE PEE IN A CUP!! CAN I GET A HALLELUJAH??!?!

It was a joint effort. Thank God my sister Emily is here visiting and my sister Natalie happened to stop by to say hello! We gave Ab's a fun waterbottle to drink out of to encourage lots of hydration, then took her diaper off and let her walk around. She was incredibly nervous being nude and diaper-less at first (let's hope this desire to be modest sticks around into the teen years), but she relaxed a bit, and finally let a stream go. We probably would have caught more but I let out a loud exclamation of joy when she started streaming and it scared her. Oops. And then we realized the container we caught it in had a hole in it. I'm not gonna lie, I swore a bit. Anyways, after a successful transfer to a better container, we've got about a teaspoon of Abbey urine in the fridge. I called the doctor and confirmed that should be plenty. I don't think I've ever been so happy to have pee all over my hardwoods. I am so relieved!!!

14 Months = Awesome!

Seriously.

I LOVE this age! I can not believe how FUN Luke and Abbey are right now. They crack us up constantly as we watch their little personalities become not so little.


Such a happy boy!


They are amazing us every day with what they comprehend and are able to do! Thanks to Heather's sweet gift of Baby Sign videos, they are both signing "diaper" (toilet), "please", "thank you", in addition to what they already knew (more, eat, all done). I am super excited about them learning please and thank you. While I'm aware it's completely normal to demand, bark, and grunt at this age to communicate their desires, it makes it feel slightly less like we live with two little Dictators when they are at least demanding with manners =).




They are both saying more and more words lately, "ball" and "duck" are the latest. We hear "I wan dat" (translation: I want that) accompanied by a finger point at least 428 times a day.


Their dexterity is stunning to us! They can twist caps off things and push the tiniest of buttons! We find ourselves often learning our house wasn't as babyproof as we thought!





And teeth? Why I honestly don't even have a current count. They've both got a mouth full of them, and Abbey has her two lower molars in the back, with her upper ones getting ready to bust through.





They are walking masters on the verge of running. Abbey gets faster every day and can often be found going up and down the hallway, giggling to herself as she picks up speed.





We're seeing some fits and tantrums, which is to be expected at this age. So far nothing too brutal and Dave and I are doing our best to figure out what works for each baby...(side note, if this book tells me that discipline should be fun! one more time I'm gonna turn it into confetti).


They love to be where ever I am. This is pretty much the scene around me as I try and doing any cooking or baking...

Where ever I go, they love to set up shop and play near my feet. It can get a little irritating to have them underfoot constantly, but I try and remember that before I know it, they won't want to hang out with their Momma nearly as much, and I will miss it.



(Abbey)


(Luke)


We're pretty much down to nights and naps for binkies inside the house, and just new places when we are out and about. But we haven't drawn any real hard lines with it. We ask them to put their binks in the basket (in a drawer) when they wake up, and they never seemed bothered to do so. Funny story though, we kept noticing the basket had fewer and fewer binks in it and wondered where on earth they could be, seeing as how they never walk around with them anymore (so they don't have the opportunity to stash them around the house like they used to). On a hunch I pulled Abbey's crib away from the wall and found TEN binkies back there! Silly girl! We knew she had been tossing them somewhere because if we ever have to go re-settle her in for nap or bedtime she is always binkie-less, and when you say "Sis, where'd your binkie go?" she always goes "Huh?" and then pretends to look around while saying "hmmmm...". Such a stinker =).






They are loving trying new foods and are usually willing to try anything at least once. Luke still devours spaghetti and mac&cheese like he's never had a meal before =). And Abbey still prefers pineapple to anything.


They are both becoming expert climbers, and LOVE to get up and down from the couch 1,472 times a day. One of their favorite things is when I get one of the crib mattresses out and lay it on the floor for them to climb and jump all over. Oh to be entertained so easily!

They've been playing together more and more (as opposed parallel playing) and they crack us up all the time with the things they come up with. The other day they thought it was the funnest thing in the world to drag their spoons from side to side across the gate, like all prisoners do on their cell door =)




That video shows Luke's hilarious new trick - nodding emphatically when we ask him if he's being a good boy.


Most days we are still a two-nap household, and it seems to be working fine for all of us. We occasionally have our one-nap days, but they aren't as often as I thought they'd be.

This is a moment captured on film that we see a lot of lately...poor Luke fending off kisses from his adoring little sister. Luckily, as is evident in his grin, he does it with love =).



Saturday we went to my work BBQ and the twins loved running around and playing with the "bigger" kids. It's so crazy to realize we're crossing over into a phase where Luke and Abbey are content -and want- to wander away from us and play with other kids. Sure, when we first arrived they stayed in our laps to acclimate a bit (and Abbey longer than Luke), but then they were off, playing and exploring, and only coming back to "check in" with us so often. They sure are growing up fast...

Twin Momma Must Haves

Megan is expecting TWINS this fall (Yea! and Hooray!) and asked what baby products were must haves with multiples.

Well, do I have a list for you!! =)


IF you plan on breastfeeding, here are the essentials:

-EZ 2 Nurse twin nursing pillow. Or some variation there of. I did not get mine until after my twins were born because I (naively) thought I would just nurse my twins one on one every single time to allow for more bonding. Ha. If you are able, it is 10,327 times more efficient to tandem nurse. It takes some practice, but it's such a time saver, and trust me there is still plenty of bonding going on.

-Nursing Tanks. I spent wayyy too much money a Bravado tank (because Bravao made my favorite nursing bras) only to find I did not love it nearly as much as I loved these tanks. They are the best in my opinion. They are not expensive, and mine held up just fine even though I rotated through about five of them (I lived in them!) and so that meant being washed a lot.

-Boppies. Two of them. These were great for when one person needed to feed both twins a bottle at the same time (even if you plan to breastfeed, it's good to have a plan for when someone else may need to give them a bottle, like to take one overnight feeding so you can sleep a little bit, or if you have to go back to work or something). Plus I used these when my twins were tiny as part of my set up to nurse them when I was by myself (I would put them each on a boppy on either side of me on the couch, get my nursing pillow situated, and then pull a baby up on my pillow one at a time)

Misc gear:

- Double Snap and Go stroller. I don't mean to sound dramatic here, but it will SAVE YOUR LIFE. Many times I had to take my infant twins somewhere by myself, and this stroller made it so much easier to do it. Just pop the babies -still in their carseats- directly in this thing and off you go! No unbuckling and re buckling and moving from one seat to another. Life saver. It's light enough that it was easy for me to lift in and our of our trunk even post c-section. Our twins didn't move into convertible carseats until right before their first birthday, and part of the reason for that was this stroller. It just made things so convenient. I can't say enough good things about it. I loved it so much that if I weren't already taken I'd marry it.

- Wipe Warmer Do you like a cold, wet anything on your person at 2am? Me neither. And neither does a baby. Middle of the night changes are rough enough, and we were all about doing whatever we could to make it as smooth as possible and disturb the babies as little as possible.

- Swaddlers And this movie right along with it. Our babies loved being tightly swaddled. They craved it. And Dr. Carp is a freakin' genius. His tips in that movie worked wonders on our colicky daughter. If he ever needs a kidney, he can have one of mine.

- A sling or wrap that can fit both babies at one time. Dave and I spent a lot of time pacing the halls carrying both babies in a sling to soothe them.


The only other "tip" I can think of is you really don't need two of everything. Unless you have an abundance of space and money (which we didn't), then save and only buy one swing, one jumparoo, one exersaucer, etc. Especially until you know what your babies will like! For example, neither one of my babies ever really liked the swing, so I am really glad I never spent money on two. And you end up with so much gear (even with just one of each!) that we had plenty of "stations" to rotate through=).

Ok twin momma's - time to link up! Head over to Megan's page and tell her everything I forgot about.

Hiking

On Saturday we took advantage of the GORGEOUS weather we had here and met up with some family to hike Multnomah Falls. It was stunningly beautiful, and we had a great time.

First, we geared up for some sun...






Family pic at the top!



Luke and Dave peering over the top of the falls...



David wore Luke in the Kelty Backpack and I wore Abbey in the Ergo on the way up, and then we switched babies on the way down. Luke fell asleep which was just precious because this boy is busy most days and I sure loved the cuddle time =)...



When we got home Dave and his dad settled in to watch the Giants game for a bit. I can't remember what exactly happened, but at one point I noticed an expression on Bruce or David's face (I honestly can't remember which one) that looked just like Luke's angry face. So, naturally, I made them all pose for a generational shot of the Hoffman Scowl...


HA!

Then & Now

April, 2010

May, 2011

We've come a long way, baby

I've told you before that I've struggled with anxiety since the twins were born.

Well, actually, if I took the time to really reflect on it, I probably have my whole life, but it's definitely heightened now.

I saw a counselor for awhile over the winter about it, and one of her famous lines to me was "you can't believe everything you think."

Amen to that.

A good portion of my daily anxiety has decreased, thanks to prayer and working on mindfulness. I no longer think every sneeze is the bird flu. I no longer suffer from insomnia.

But, there is one area I still find myself struggling with...the awesome burden of parenthood.

I am - at all times- acutely aware of the fact that I am responsible for molding people. That my actions and words and body language will help (or harm) how my children will view the world. How they view themselves.

Parenting is a HUGE responsibility.

And while I personally believe any mother worth her salt takes the job seriously, I tend to lean towards possibly taking it too seriously.

You see, I can't seem to stop allowing my mind to play it's continual, accusing track of "is this the moment my children will refer to 17 years from now when they are sitting on Oprah's replacement's couch and saying 'well, I can pretty much trace my life of violence and crime back to this time when I was 14 months old, and my mom didn't drop everything -even though she was trying to make us dinner after spending all afternoon playing with us- to hold me the minute I fussed. I can pinpoint it to then...that's when I lost my ability to trust and started fending for myself...'"

Seriously.

I know.

But it's a nagging question that haunts me constantly. And if I'm honest, it can be crippling. It's WAY too much pressure.

I've read too much. I've read way too many books and articles on parenting and child psychology that I am literally too aware of how much damage I can do, and how easily it can (supposedly) be done.

Some days, it's not so bad. We hit our stride right out of the gate, and the day goes smoothly on all counts. Those days I tend to let myself think I've got a handle on this mothering thing.

But then other days...not so much. And those are the days I tend to spend entirely too much time analyzing why our day (or our dinner, or bathtime, or naptime, or whatever) went the way it did.

I was stressing (and over thinking) something the other night and lamenting to David how surprised I am at the amount of times in a day when I second guess my instincts while mothering. In fact, sometimes I can't hone into my instincts at all. (You know, the instincts I clung to during infertility that I swore were dead on and would make me the best mother ever) This led to a discussion as to why I thought that might be, to which I finally answered "I guess...I often don't let myself believe...I don't trust...that we are all going to be ok."

David looked thoughtful for a moment, and then posed "define 'ok'."

Now it was my turn to be thoughtful. I sat in silence for a bit, and finally came up with "to where we all get to live a long life together, where you and I get to see Luke and Abbey grow well into adulthood. That our marriage stands the test of time. That our children's marriages stand the test of time. That in the end we've managed to turn out two functioning members of society, who know how to be good spouses and good parents themselves. That we show our children Jesus, and that they chose to live for Him. That we always have "enough" money. That we are all spared chronic - or God forbid, terminal- illness for the majority of our lives... " and on and on I went.

And even as I was listing it all, I knew. I have no guarantees for any of that.

I am realizing that what it boils down to is a lack of faith. Faith that my Savior has a perfect plan. Faith that even though we will have trouble (individually and corporately), God will overcome, and use it for good. Faith that God knew what He was doing when He blessed me with this role. Faith that He loves my children more than I ever could. Faith that He really will lead and guide me if I allow Him to. Faith that He is ultimately in charge and any control I feel I have is nothing but an illusion.

It's not all on my shoulders.



This morning I had my quiet time while the twins napped, and I put on a CD of worship music my sister made for me when we first came home from the hospital. It's filled with soft praise songs, meant to serve as an aide to help me relax during a time of extreme stress. I listened to it a lot in those early days.


I left it on in the background as Abbey and Luke got up, and watched as they danced in their highchairs while they happily ate their snack.

And in that moment, I was able to reflect on how far we've come. A little over a year ago, while that CD played in the background of our days, chaos and tenseness ruled our home. Tears (mine more than the babies) were aplenty. I was beyond overwhelmed and unable to imagine it would ever get better.


And yet, now, just over a year later - a year that has not been without illness, stress, arguments, disappointments, misunderstanding, financial worries, or frustration - we are in a much better place than I could have ever pictured.


We've come along way in a year. And while I don't know if I'll ever claim to have this mothering thing down...we're doing ok so far.