The Love of God

The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell
It goes beyond the highest star
And reaches to the lowest hell
The guilty pair, bowed down with care
God gave His Son to win
His erring child He reconciled
And pardoned from his sin

Could we with ink the ocean fill
And were the skies of parchment made
Were every stalk on earth a quill
And every man a scribe by trade

To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry
Nor could the scroll contain the whole
Though stretched from sky to sky

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints' and angels' song

Throughout this week I have felt like I have been under some serious spiritual attack. I have felt an unreasonable amount of anxiety, fear, and worry on a hourly basis. Last night I even woke up at 1:30am and was wide awake in a near panic for about an hour. I read my Bible and prayed, and eventually calmed down enough to go to back to sleep. On top of all this general unrest, I have had the enemy whispering the word "failure" over and over in my mind...

It has been quite unsettling.

Today, at this hour, I feel nothing but peace.

Thank you Jesus.

And thank you also to my sweet friends Julie and Lacy for their prayers today, and my thoughtful friend Heather, for listening to the Holy Spirit's calling and praying for me as well. Even just Heather mentioning to me that the Lord had laid me on her heart this week meant so much to me. It showed me that even when I couldn't "feel" God, He was taking care of me.

He is so good to us.

Let this be a lesson to me to never be too proud to ask for prayer.

And if you don't believe in the power of prayer, ask Him to show you how real it is. I am not talking about "testing" the Lord, just simply ask Him to reveal to you just how powerful the prayers of His faithful ones can be...I have nothing but the utmost faith He will answer, and show you.

This post is brought to you by the letter "D"

Due to lack of blogging fodder, my buddy Faith threw me a letter to blog about. If you don't know what I am talking about, go over and check out this post.

Thanks Faith!!

Here goes:

1. David.

My wonderful, amazing, God-sent husband. He makes me smile and laugh like nobody else. He is hands down my very favorite person, and I am so blessed to get to spend my days with my best friend!!



2. My Daddy. Isn't he silly?!?

My dad is the father of 5 daughters, and although an attorney by day, he's a goofball by night.



3. Donna
My wonderful mother in law!! She is so loving and fun, and the perfect balance of Mom and Best Friend. I am one lucky girl!!!



4. My Diamonds...Now before you think me vain, those are the only diamonds I own...my wedding ring, and I just adore them. We spent FOREVER looking for the "perfect" ring, and I had tried on dozens and dozens before we found "the one". I knew the moment I saw it that it was just what I wanted. Simple and concise, yet beautiful. Also, at the time we got engaged I was a preschool teacher, so I had to have a partially enclosed diamond...ya know, something play-doh wouldn't get stuck inside of. HA!




5. Dwight.
You know I love me some Office!! FACT: Dwight just cracks me up. ALSO FACT: Grizzly bears.





6. Daisies.
I love daisies!! They are my favorite flower!! Especially gerber daisies like these. Aren't they so pretty?! We had them in our wedding!





7. Digital Cable.

I wish I was one of those people who could say I did something noble with my spare time...like wrote novels or attempted to solve the worlds hunger crisis...but the truth is, I heart TV. And I love digital cable's On Demand. So many free movies to watch on a lazy Saturday!!




8. Dining out.

We love trying new restaurants!! But we also LOVE sticking to our favorites!! Yummm....Melting Pot...


9. Damask

I am SO into this print right now!!! I know that my treasures are up in Heaven...but I still can't help but smile when I see these baskets of mine!




10. Desserts!YUM. Need I say more??!?




Thanks Faith!! That was fun!! If anyone else wants to play along, just go visit Faith and she will give you a letter to play with =)

Wow...

Last night, as I read the updates on Brayden and Harper, I was just in awe of God's goodness. When Jenna says "I talked to his morning nurse and she said that it's very, very uncommon for PPHN to go away this fast." I just started crying.

That is God.

I believe in miracles. I believe in miraculous healings. I have been witness to several, one in particular serves as a constant reminder to me of the goodness of God. I even have my own from when I was very little...maybe someday I will have my dad guest post and tell the story.



My awe continued to grow as I read Kelly's dad, Pastor_Steve's entry last night. Tears just streamed down my face as I read his wise words. I am guilty of sub coming to my human nature and asking "why?" so many times in my own life, and I have definitely asked "why?" in regards to Kelly and Jenna's recent trials. Kelly's dad's post last night was so insightful and uplifting, I would encourage every one to take a moment and go here and read it.



I am so encouraged by the progress Brayden and Harper are showing, but as my sister so wisely put it, a NICU stay is a marathon, not a sprint. Let us remain faithful in prayer for these babies and their families!!



This weekend Dave and I watched "Facing the Giants" on recommendation of my dear friend Julie. We both enjoyed it, and if you haven't seen it, you should rent it. There was one part in movie that really stood out to me, where one of the actors says that the Bible mentions "Do Not Fear" 365 times.

One for every day of the year.

Coincidence?? I. Think. Not.

The power of prayer...

James 5:16 declares, "…The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective..."

Corinthians 10:4-5 tells us, "The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds..."

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints" Ephesians 6:18

1 John 5:14-15 says, "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him."



Please click on the Praying for Harper button and read about sweet Harper's progress...God is hearing our prayers...
We are still waiting for an update from Jenna on Brayden...

What the enemy means for evil, God means for good. God is not surprised by any of this. He knew -before the beginning of time- that these babies would need faithful people lifting them up their first days. And He has provided any army. An army who knows we serve a miraculous God.

I love how Kelly's dad posted on his blog that Harper is doing better "on her own" (quotation marks his), we believe this is due to the power of prayer to the Almighty.

Our Lord, thank you for providing power in prayer. We will remain vigilant and await your handiwork...

More prayers needed!!

Wow...I do not know what is going on...I do not know what to say...you all probably already know this, but in case you are the one person who doesn't, please pray for Harper, Kelly's newborn daughter. Go here and read, and then please stop and pray.

I lift my eyes up to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, maker of Heaven and Earth.

Lord, you are the Great Physician, we believe you are a God of miracles, we know you love Harper and Brayden more than anyone. Please God, move mountains...move and heal...bring peace...Our eyes are on you Lord.

Prayers needed!!

Some of you probably saw the link on Kelly's blog the other day, so you are already praying, but in case any of you hadn't seen it, PLEASE be praying for sweet Jenna's newborn son, Brayden. He was born on Tuesday and she updated this morning that Brayden was taken by helicopter to a different hospital and is a critical care NICU. They believe he is suffering from pulmonary hypertension. Please also keep Jenna and Chris in your prayers, I can't even imagine how hard this all must be. Click here for updates...

The reviews are in

It's not great.


But it's not awful.


I think I need to learn how to speak "hair". Apparently I don't.


I said I wanted my hair thinned.


I meant "less thick than it is now thin"


She must have thought I meant "Hair Club for Women thin"


When I reached back to grab my mane after she was done, I literally gasped. Turns out it wasn't really gasp-worthy. You know how that zit on your face always feels 10x larger than it really is? Well, it felt like there was only a tiny rat-tail of hair left, but it wasn't that drastic.


Still, between the over-thinning, and the layers, and the almost 2 inch clean up of messy, dead ends, there was so much of my hair on the floor by the time she was done that it looked like a Pomeranian was laying there.




But it needed to be done. Maybe not so much thinning, but the rest needed to be done.


And I can live with it. Ever since the Great Weed-Whacking Incident of 2006, I feel like I know bad hair cuts, and this is not bad.


When I got home last night, David said it reminded him of Jennifer Aniston, Circa 1996

I must have made a face, because he was quick to say "that's not a bad thing".

.

This morning though, after attempting to style it on my own, I felt it was more reminiscent of Steven Tyler.

Oh well, it is just hair. It has been better, but it has also been much, much worse.

I will try and post a pic tomorrow. I am not trying to create suspense here, it's just that I didn't get home until almost 10:00pm last night, so I didn't take one then. And Lord knows I have a hard enough time getting to work on time each morning...add in the extra time I wasted singing "I was cryin' when I met you, now I am tryyyinnn to forget you..." into my hairbrush while I was channeling Steven Tyler, and there was no time for a photo shoot this morning either.

EEK!

Happy Tuesday All!

I woke up this morning thinking "only 4 more days until Saturday". Ugh. I was gently reminded that is SO not miracle-of-the-momenty thinking, and realized that I am falling back into old habits again and need to be better about living for TODAY. I prayed for grace to remember that there will never be another January 13th, 2009 again, and I should embrace today for being just that - today.

And now on to the EEK part. I have an appointment tonight with a new hair stylist. And I am oh so nervous about it. I know it's just hair, but remember I had an incident. I have been putting off finding someone local to cut my hair for months now, and it has been since SEPTEMBER since I have had a trim!

So, the answer to the question I assume you are asking yourself is yes I do currently bear an uncanny resemblance to the Shaggy Dog.

But tonight- hopefully- that all changes. Tonight I am going to someone new, who comes highly referred by a coworker with GREAT hair. Which is great because I am in desperate need!

How have I managed the last 2 months with shaggy, unruly hair? I have been going with 3 basic hairstyles:

1. Pulled back in a french twist/ponytail/clip thing. Regrettably, I do not have a photo example of this. But it's not really all that awesome.

2. Since the ends are too uneven to straighten my hair and just let it hang, I have been doing this straighten most/curl ends concoction, shown here:

Nice, but time consuming.

3. Then there is the au-natural look. Where I just let my natural curl/wave/rats nest do what it pleases with just some added gel to tame the beast:

Option number 3 is blessedly my husband's favorite. How lucky am I?!? I am married to a man who truly thinks I look the best when I am the laziest.

The problem with option 3 is that while Dave loves it and assures me it looks great, I feel like it's a wild and crazy mess that resembles Animal from the Muppet's.

So tonight my plan is to get it finally fixed so I can go back to just a blow dry and a straighten in the morning. A cut, thinning, and some subtle layers... wish me luck!

*If I don't post in the next few days, it's because the appointment went horribly wrong and I have moved to a country where women wear head coverings.*

Just kidding, I am not really that vain =-)

Oh, Beth...

She just has such a way with words!! Listen to this quote from the Esther Bible study homework I am doing:
"Oddly, the most freeing thing we can ever do is to abdicate the throne of our own miniature kingdoms".

So true, I almost actually yelled out "preach it sista!"

Now I just have to work on the whole act of actually abdicating my throne...

A Thrill of Hope

I saw that title for a post on one of the sidebars of someone's blog that I read, but true to Kendra form, I must have saw something pretty or shiny and got distracted and never clicked on it to read. And I can't for the life of me find it again. So if that was you, please post a comment or email me so I can give you the credit. I am morally opposed to any type of bloggy plagiarism.
I saw the title around Christmas time, and immediately recognized it as a part of a lyric to a popular Christmas carol "A thrill of Hope, the weary world rejoices...". Funny how I have sung that song a hundred times, but never really thought about the words.

A thrill of hope.

Since glancing at these words, this phrase has come to the forefront of my mind several times in the last few weeks, and I began to ask the Lord about it. What exactly does it mean??
I then began to think about that rush that sometimes overcomes you when you are suddenly filled with hope about something...

I thought about the feeling you get when you are expecting a package or present in the mail, and you walk out to the mailbox, filled with anticipation, wondering if it's waiting for you or not.

I thought back to being a kid on Christmas morning (or being 27, on Christmas morning=-)) and running downstairs, felling full of excitement and hope at what Santa may have left for you under the tree.

My mind made its way to the night that David proposed, how I saw the note on the door to his apartment that clued me in to what was waiting inside...I remember my heart started beating at a rapid pace, my palms got sweaty, and my face flushed with excitement. I was so hopeful that this was the night.
It was a rush of emotions, a rush of hope.

One might say I was thrilled.

I thought about the night my niece was born. I thought about how beyond terrified I was that labor had begun at 26 weeks. And I remember David and I being on our knees, begging the Lord to show mercy and to spare this sweet little soul we hadn't met yet. And then the phone rang, and Natalie's sweet voice said the words "you have a niece, she weighs one pound, 11 ounces, and she looks like she is going to make it"
I remember a flood of hope just washed over me.
I was beyond thrilled with this new found hope.

I talked with the Lord about this for awhile...the idea of being thrilled with hope. I shared with Him all that has been on my heart lately - I know He already knows it all, but it is helpful in any relationship to talk things out, and my relationship with Christ is no different.
I talked to Him about my fears and doubts about our family plans. I shared with Him my concerns about what this year holds for us...a new job for David, a possible move (to who knows where), and plenty of heavy decisions to make....all the things that burden me daily. I asked Him to help me cast my cares upon Him, and help me to trust Him with my life.
This is a daily prayer of mine.
Then I asked for something else...

I asked Him to thrill me.

To thrill me with Hope.

I figured, why not?? After all, the Bible says "Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" Isaiah 30:18

And let me tell you... He did.

He thrilled me in such a way that I literally could not stop grinning! I left the house to run errands and when I came back home I burst through the front door and bounded up to David and gave him the biggest hug. He was a little taken aback (and a little thrown off balance, I usually yell out a warning cry of "brace yourself!" before I bound like that) and he asked (with a grin on his face) "What's gotten into you?" And I proceeded to - excitedly- tell him "do you know how many opportunities we have in front of us? Do you realize how many options we have?? Can you even BEGIN to fathom ALL of the amazing things God can do with our life?? The possibilities are endless, just endless!!!"

It was as if almost every fear I carry about our future and upcoming decisions had all of a sudden been turned into amazing opportunities. My outlook had changed in a simple afternoon.
It is an undesired habit of mine to become consumed with the gripping fear of the unknown. I am a planner, and it throws me completely outta whack when things don't go as planned. I have been known a time or two (or seven, or eight, or a hundred) to shake my finger at God and say "This isn't how things were supposed to go! This wasn't the plan!!"
And I can picture Him, just looking down at me, with a Father's love in His eyes and saying "Oh child, you have no idea what my plan is..."
I was reminded He can do anything.

He changed my vision, my way of looking at things. Instead of feeling stuck, standing blindly before too many options and feeling pressured to make uneducated, unconvinced choices, I felt like we had the whole world before us...and it was a good thing.

He reminded me that although things are not going like I had so perfectly planned out, He is not surprised by anything. He has known from the beginning of my life where I would be in January of 2009, and He knows where I will be this time next year. And the year after that, and after that, and so on.

He thrilled me with the reminder of the endless possibilities that exist through Him.

And I am grateful.

And hopeful.

And now I pray I have faith enough to make it last, to keep these thoughts in the forefront of my mind.

A Thrill of Hope - ask and you shall receive.

Esther

Our new Bible Study starts tonight!! We finished up Beth's "When Godly People Do UnGodly Things" right before Christmas, and tonight we start "Esther, it's tough being a woman", Amen to that!

I have a confession to make...I was skeptical about Beth Moore. I hadn't ever done one of her studies before "When Godly People Do UnGodly Things", and all I ever heard about was "Beth Moore's sooo great" and "Beth Moore is just soooo amazing" , and I was like "Who is this Beth Moore chick?!? What's the big deal???".

I can't help it, I am a conspiracy theorist by nature...it drives David nuts.

Well, now I get it. I get the hoopla -if you will- around Beth Moore. She is just so humble, so personable, so easy to relate to, so funny, so honest, and soooo in love with Jesus. She stirs up a longing in me to know Him better. I enjoyed the last study so much that I bought "Believing God" used off Amazon, and started reading it too.

I am officially hooked on this Beth Moore person.

That's what she said

Ok.

David and I were discussing something the other night and we couldn't come to an agreement. I am calling in some impartial parties.

So... Monica, Faith, Mimi, Mary, Risa, Natalie, and any other Office devotee's out there, I need you to weigh in...

The other night they replayed Season 4's finale, where Michael finds out Jan is pregnant.

That got Dave and I talking about how it's weird we haven't seen much of Jan since her baby shower (hilarious episode, by the way). And then we got on to how it's so weird that Holly has just completely disappeared from the script too.

The speculating then began...

I was saying that I think we haven't heard the last of Jan in regards to her baby. I think there's a good chance it really is Michael's, and she just panicked and lied because she doesn't want to be involved with Michael.

A possibility, no?

Dave says no way. That Jan is totally nuts and probably did go to a sperm bank just like she claims.

We both agree it's so weird that Holly has all but disappeared.

What do you all think? Have we seen the last of Holly?? Is there more Jan-baby-mama-drama to come??

A letter

Dear Weight Watchers,

Hello old friend, old love. It's been awhile.

I suppose you are wondering why I am writing after not hearing from me for so long...well, the truth is I am wondering if we can start things up again.

I know, I know...I have been unfaithful.

There was this:

And this...And this...And -who could forget - this...

I respect you too much to lie to you....those were all wonderfully tasty....but I miss you. I need you. Desperately.

You made such a difference in my life! Because of my relationship with you, I was able to rekindle my relationship with my beloved skinny jeans...and oh how I was overjoyed to be reunited with them!

I would like to point out to you that while my infidelity has been -ahem- off the charts lately, it's only fair to remind you that for three months I was incredibly faithful to you! (Except of course for Saturday's and Sunday's when I pretended I didn't know you...) but Monday through Friday I was as loyal as loyal gets.

So, whadda say? Tomorrow?? A new beginning for us???

Most sincerely,
Kendra

Day 2 in the New Year

2009 continues to be a good one so far =-).

I woke up to snow this morning! Yippee!! Of course it was only like 1/2 an inch and is practically gone already...but it still made an expression of glee appear on my face when I saw everything blanketed white when I first looked out the window.

In keeping with the spirit of Joy, here are some other things that made me smile today:

COFFEE. Hip, Hip, Hooray for coffee! I normally keep to a strict limit of one cup a day. When I get pregnant I will be cutting it out completely, and I don't want it to be a total jolt to my system at that time, so I try and keep my dependence at minimal now.

But this week I may as well have had an IV shooting it directly into my veins because I have been living on the stuff. With all this vacation and time off, I let myself get totally out of whack by staying up really, really late practically every night and then sleeping in really, really late on days off. It has wreaked havoc on my energy for work days!! So I have been cheating horribly on my one cup a day limit.

I swear every time I sneak into the break room to refill my cup I hear the song "Hello Darkness, my old friend..." play in my head.

Next:

Wall-E!! We have been looking forward to watching this movie for soooo long! It has been sitting in our Netflix queue for weeks on back order, and today it is here!!!! YEA! So we have a date night planned for tonight that will involve three of my favorite things - cuddling, popcorn, and a movie =-). Yahoo!

And lastly, these:

I know that true Joy can really be found in Jesus, but let me show you a little math I did today:

Something new for my house + really cute+ really great price = Happy Kendra

I mean, seriously, how adorable are they???? (The answer you are looking for is Extremely Adorable) .

I am one of those people who feels like there should be a place for everything, and I feel best when everything is in it's place! So I have little baskets and containers and such all over our house. And when I saw these today and thought they were just too cute for words and only $3.99, I knew that I should own them, so I bought 'em, and oh the joy!

Happy Friday to all of you out in Bloggerland!

2009

Did you all have a nice New Years Eve? We sure did!! We had a couple of invites for different events and gatherings (Really we did!! I promise, we do have friends!!!), but we chose to just hang out at home instead, for several reasons...
- Neither of like the idea of driving around on New Years Eve...too many drunk drivers.
- I had several really busy days at work, and didn't really feel like getting dolled up and going anywhere...pj's and a ponytail sounded much more appealing.
- We are homebodies. Not that we don't love a good night out...it's just that we love being together at home.
- We are old.

Yup, Old. Don't believe me?

Exhibit A:
On the way home from work I was thinking about how exhausted I was from the third insanely crazy day at work in a row, and thought how nice it might be to get to bed early. Like 10pm. On New Years Eve. Old.
Exhibit B:
While on the same drive home, I was listening to my usual contemporary Christian music station when a particularly rockin' song came on and I actually thought to myself "Does it have to be so loud?" I then hit the search button, and was pleased to find a comfortable Rod Stewart song on the easy listening station. Old.

I am however happy to report that I not only made it past 10pm, we stayed up until 3am!! Can you believe it? Me either. But we had so much fun watching movies, playing Scrabble (cauz that's how we party-types roll), eating snacks, drinking cocoa with Baileys in it (yum!) and just talking about all the good times of 2008. It was a great night.

And then today has been spent sleeping in (until noon!), undecking the halls, and relaxing... I must say, I like the way 2009 is starting...

Resolutions

Lianna is hosting The 2009 New Years Resolution Review, and I am playing along =-).

I have a few this year....

1. Give a serious attempt at becoming a runner. Running does not come easy to me. I can do cardio work like Step class until the cows come home, but I look (and feel) like an arthritic old man when I run. I have absolutely no grace about my stride... I have no rhythm, and my feet always clomp down so hard like they weigh 200 pounds each. I want to run where I look (and feel) like a gazelle. I want it to be more natural for me...so that is gonna take some practice, effort and determination on my part.

2. Take piano lessons again. I took them when I was a kid, and I have forgotten 98% of what I once knew. I would like to learn again!

3. Attend book club at least every other month.

Oh, and actually finish that month's book before we meet.

4. Take more vacations!! We won't be able to afford Hawaii every month (Dream on Dreamweaver!) but with a little planning, we can certainly take more weekend jaunts...or what Julie calls "minications" =-).

5. And lastly - and probably most importantly- read my bible more diligently. I am good about reading my devotionals and doing my bible study homework for my women's biblestudy, but I don't just sit down and read directly from The Word as much as I should. The Bible says "For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit..." (Hebrews 4:12) and I want it to come alive to me even more than it is now. I long to spend more time with Him, in conversation with Him, and to just sit in reverence for who He is...and what better way than to read His words??

Here's to new beginnings...now go over to Lianna's blog and play along!!