(Or rather that they were yesterday...but Momma had a crazy day at home by herself with the babies and did not get around to posting yesterday, so this is a day late)
In some ways, this has been the longest month of my life. But on the exact same page, I can't believe it has already been an entire month!!
I can not believe there are only 11 more of these and the twins will be a year old... I am so not ready for time to be going by this quickly.
It has also been one of the hardest months of my life. I say the hardest with extreme humility. Being a new mother has rivaled any other experience in my life in regards to being humbled. I spent some time pondering why this is so, and I think I have a decent answer...
I am humbled by how much help I need. I assumed - very naively- that I would just fall into some super mom role where I could keep up with both my babies every need, keep up my house to a high standard of cleanliness, and keep up myself physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I just assumed I would be able to "step up" and do all of this, and that I would have no problem.
Why I assumed this, I have no idea. I am pleading insanity.
I am humbled by how un-natural it seems at times.
David has complimented me on more than one occasion on how prepared I had our house for these babies, how everything just "makes sense" where I had set it up.
I knew how to prepare for babies.
I grew up with 3 younger sisters. I started babysitting in the 5th grade. I even nannied for multiple families.
Preparing for their daily needs as far as diapering, feeding, clothing, bathing, etc...that I can do. It's logical to me.
What I did not prepare for is that these babies are people. They are individuals. I think it hit me the first time I picked one of them up when they were crying and I could not comfort them right away. I was honestly shocked. I had just assumed because I was there mother and they were my babies that we would just know each other perfectly right away.
Yes, they know me, to an extent. They know my voice from the womb. They are comforted by it somewhat. They do calm down -even if only for a moment- when I sing to them the special songs I sang all the time while I was pregnant.
And I know them, to an extent. When Luke gives me is little full body wiggle, I smile and remember all the times he would do that at 4am when I got up to go to the bathroom. When Abbey gets the hiccups multiple times during the day, I remember vividly how it was the same when she was inside of me. Or when she moves her arms and legs around slowly yet purposefully, it reminds me of the "Tai chi" she used to do in my stomach.
But they are still individuals, and they have likes and dislikes that I am learning about daily. And really, they are too. We are learning each other. And what I had been missing was a healthy respect for the time that can take.
We are learning more and more about each other every day though, and it's so special to see us "getting" each other. They hold our gaze now with their eyes, and that is incredible. They turn towards the sound of our voices sometimes. I can pick them up when they are freaking out, pull them towards me to nurse, and they almost always settle right in and calm down...and that makes me feel like a Momma =).
David and I may be overwhelmed a lot of the time, but we are incredibly grateful for these two little miracles.
-Abbey you weighed 7 pounds 10 ounces...you were just under 2 pounds smaller than your brother at birth, and now just shy of 1 pound smaller, you sure are catching up!
-You are both still in newborn diapers
-You are both still in newborn clothes (although Luke some of your pants don't fit around your casts)
-You are both nursing really well, and as of today the lactation consultants said we could reduce your supplement to only TWO OUNCES A DAY...this is down from SIXTEEN a day when you came home from the hospital. HOORAY! God is so good and I am so thrilled that nursing is getting easier and my supply seems to be building to meet your needs.
-We don't need to go into too much detail for the entire world wide web to read, but Abbey you have your daddy's stomach and Luke you have your momma's. Enough said.
-You two play with each other and sometimes hold hands while I am tandem nursing you...it is the most precious thing ever.
-Abbey, you tend to be more of a whiner than a screamer. You can get worked up for sure, but most of the time you give us plenty of warning with bird like squawks (which your daddy and I find adorable) and general fussiness before you go into full on freak out mode. But when you do, look out =). You turn so red and your fists clench and you just flail your arms and legs around, it's so sad to watch! We just try and hold you close and whisper to you to comfort you. And when you do settle in, oh you are such a cuddler, it's Heavenly. You have the most beautiful big blue eyes and such delicate, feminine features. Your hair is getting lighter everyday, and almost looks strawberry blonde lately. Your daddy and I think you are just gorgeous. You are the more chatty twin, making little noises at us that are just too adorable. We can already tell that you have a lot to say =)
-Luke, you are the more tolerant twin. You handle things like your casts like a champ. But, you are a 0-60 kid. You tend to only give us 1 or 2 warning whimpers and then you are MAD. There is very little middle ground for you kiddo. Luckily you usually calm down easily. You love the binkie and if you aren't in a deep enough sleep you will cry every time it falls out. You are a snuggly little guy who loves to be held, and we sure do love to hold you. You could sleep for hours on end as long as one of us is holding you =).You have amazing neck muscles! You are so strong and you lift your head up all the time. Your hair is a little lighter than birth, but still pretty dark. It's so long in the back, and we are going to have to do something about that mullet soon buddy =). You have the most beautiful eyelashes that just slay me! They are so long and full...oh what a charmer you are already. You love to grab things and are happy to be playing with daddy's goat tee or holding one of our fingers. You make a lot of facial expressions, and we both swear you are so close to smiling...we can hardly wait!
The babies did great during Church, which was such a blessing. Abbey hung out in my arms and napped the entire service, and Luke slept in his daddy's arms while he ran the sound for the service.
And now some random pictures...
Momma & Abbeygirl
My mom's sweet friend Pam bought these outfits the very day we found out we were expecting a boy and a girl...
Little Lucas napping with Momma
Trying to get some use out of the swing...=)
The little twins in their matching bear outfits...couldn't you just eat them up???
Momma attempting to burp both babies at one time post nursing session...
Abbey in her cute little outfit =)
And Luke in his...=)
Happy one month babies, don't grow up too fast...