8 Months!

Well I know I say this every month, but I can't believe another one has flown by...our babies are eight months old!

This post is a few days late...as we came home from our trip on Saturday and have been busy unpacking, doing laundry, and just jumping back into the swing of things here or the last few days.

Such is life.



So, Luke and Abbey, what are you up to these days?

It's been a busy month for you two! You've experienced your first Halloween and your first Thanksgiving, which were both SO fun! And you've also had your first round (and second for you, Luke) with the stomach flu =(. THAT was not so fun.

You are both sitting up like pro's now, and can bend all the way forward (we're talking nose to the ground here) and then pull yourself right back up with ease. What I wouldn't give for ab muscles like that! HA!

You are both eating finger foods like Mum-Mum's, puffs, and yogurt melts, and we are starting to experiment with things like macaroni & cheese, and pancake pieces, as well as just giving you little bites of things we are eating. Your pincher grasps are getting better each day! You two are SO curious about anything we eat, you stare intently as we bring anything to our mouths!

You two still aren't into sippy cups, despite my purchase of different kinds. You just kind of stare at me when I put them in your mouths, and then gnaw on the spouts. We'll get there...

You two have had some major sleep regression in the last month. You've never been what we would call stellar sleepers (but we love you anyway!) but being sick and then traveling really threw off what little groove we had. So, we are working on helping you guys sleep a little better, since getting up every 45 min -1 hour isn't working for ANY of us =).

You guys are heading to bed around 6:45pm-7:15pm each night, and starting your morning between 5:30am-6:30am.

You are eating 3 "meals" a day of solids, and nursing on average 7-8 times a day, plus at least once each at night.

You are both babbling a lot now! We LOVE to hear it!! You both have mastered "mamammamamma" and "daddddaada" even if they aren't yet associated with Momma and Daddy =).

You are having so much fun with your toys lately. It's AMAZING to watch your little minds work. You figure out quickly all that each toy can do, and it impresses me daily as you show off your dexterity in passing toys back and forth between hands, and as you bang toys together.

You both are in a size 3 diaper, and Luke you are growing out of your 9 month clothes, while Abbey you are just starting to wear your 9 month clothes!!

And individually...


Abbeygirl, you have started to have MAJOR separation anxiety this month. Well, the last two weeks really. You need your eyes on me at all times, and sometimes even that is not enough, you need to be held so desperately sometimes that you will literally try and climb up me! It's hard to see you so anxious and afraid, but so far I have remained pretty patient and calm about it, because I can see on your face that you are genuinely scared, and I love that I can comfort you sweet girl. It may mean I don't get many "breaks", but it makes me feel good that my embrace can calm you down. It makes me feel like your momma. And even though I get plenty of comments about "spoiling" you or "rewarding bad behaviour", I am believing that this is just a phase that will pass. One of my books says to remember that for babies dealing with separation anxiety "gone for now means gone forever" until you learn that I will come back into view. So, we will just continue to be in close contact to one another until this passes =). Someday, you won't want to sit on my lap anymore, and I will miss these days =).

Your bottom two teeth are all the way poked through now, giving you the cutest little toothy grin ever. You also have been giving us lots of giggles lately, and your Daddy and I can't get over how dainty your laugh is! Even when you "belly laugh" it's the most petite little noise! Adorable.

Your hair is still very fine, but getting longer on the top. It's still very blonde. Your eyes are turning a beautiful shade of blue, and your eyelashes are filling in nicely.

You are still a little Peanut!! When I took you to the doctors last week we saw a different doctor than your usual ped and she made a comment about how tiny you were and suggested a weight check in a week. I asked her to review your chart to check your growth, and sure enough you are growing, and even staying on your growth curve (thank God!), you are just a little on the small side. It's hard for me not to worry about your growth sometimes, but I am trying to just feed you as I normally would and trust the Lord. You have just started wearing your 9month clothes, and truth be told you can still fit into plenty of 6 month outfits and even some 3-6, although those are tight.

Lately you have been great about trying new foods and are willing to eat almost anything...when you are willing to eat, that is =). You still give us a stalemate every once in awhile! And when you are done eating, you simply close your mouth and will not open it for anything. Nothing. Your Daddy even was commenting the other day that you have perfected the closed-mouth-smile for those times! Too funny!!

You are still on a bottle strike, which makes it a little difficult for Daddy or your grandparents or your Auntie Natalie on the 3 afternoons I work, but you have given a little lately, and even took an ounce or two from your bottle for your Daddy today...progress! =)

You love to be read to, and will sit still for books for the longest time. Your favorite books are "Dear Zoo" and "Big, Little". I can't wait until you are a little older and we can start reading other books...you have SUCH a collection to grow into!

You still love to play with your feet and bring your toes to your mouth. You also love to clasp your hands together and hold them that way for a bit.

You play contently in one spot for a long time, just picking up toys around you scooting around a bit to grab different ones. You love to observe what is going on around you, and will watch your brother play. You've been finding him hilarious lately, which makes me smile. You will crack up at something he does, which makes him crack up in return and make my heart sore.

You often rock back and forth while you are sitting...kind of like you are grooving to music, it's so cute!

You have been LOVING the Johnny Jump Up lately, and will bounce up and down for sooo long! It's really fun to watch you play in there!

While we were dealing with sickness and travel, I got in the habit of bringing you into bed with me or Daddy bringing you out on the couch. It just melts my heart the way you would reach out and touch my face, snuggle into me, and then drift off to sleep...many times I just laid there and took you in...my precious, long awaited daughter...



Lukey, you have become a BUSY BOY this month!! You have started going from sitting to laying on your tummy in two seconds flat, and you are sooooo ready to be crawling! You get SO.MAD. that you can't move fast and far just yet. When we were at GrandDad and Grannie Annie's last week you would literally grab onto the carpet in front of you to try and pull yourself along. You seem so frustrated and I want to help you! Daddy "assisted" you yesterday by bending your knees for you and showing you how to crawl...maybe that will take =). I lay a blanket on the floor for you guys each day, and it's becoming more and more pointless! You are on your belly and rolling all over the living room within minutes of being put down. You made your way to the hardwoods yesterday and seemed to love that you could slide around in a 360 with much more ease.

You still love to be held and to cuddle, but when we are holding you and standing still, you are busy looking around and lunging to get down! You so want to explore!! But you still are plenty affectionate, and for that I am grateful =). You have started giving us open mouth kisses, and they just may be my favorite thing ever. You lean forward with that sloppy wet mouth wide open and wait for us to meet your lips. Precious. You give more and more kisses every day!

You are finally starting to stand more. Not yet unassisted, but standing really firmly assisted. You didn't have that reflex for months, and we have been waiting for it to appear. It concerned me in the beginning, but both your orthopedist and your ped said that 30% of babies just don't have that reflex! But now, you are love to stand and your sturdy legs lock solid on any hard surface.

You are still SUCH a smiley boy, and we can't get enough of your grins! And you have really been belly laughing a lot lately, which makes us laugh, which makes you laugh...and on and on =). It's so fun. You love playing games like Peek-a-Boo and you will just laugh in anticipation before we even pop up!

You are becoming a bit of a pickier eater lately. If you don't like something, you try and grab it back out of your mouth and put it on your tray. Seeing as how most your food is mush, this is quite messy. You almost always look like a piece of abstract art when you are done with a meal. And you HATE to have your face cleaned off. But you sure do love finger foods. You get so excited you start to shake when we bring out the puffs, and we pour a few on your tray and you DIVE for them!

Your favorite toy lately is a blue bath toy. You will sit and wait in your bath seat -ignoring all other toys- until Daddy drops it in the tub, and then you lunge for it. We usually let you bring it into the bedroom after bath time while we put your jammies on, one because you have a death grip on it, and two because then it keeps your hands busy and then you don't feel the need to try and grab everything else around the changing pad =).

You are very attached to your lovie, which is a blue bear/tiny blanket that you get at naptime and bedtime. You LOVE this thing and when we lay you in your crib you immediately turn to the side and reach your hands up by your face for us to put the lovie in. A few times in the early morning I have let you bring it out to the living room to cuddle on the couch, and it never leaves your tight grip =).

Your hair is getting so much lighter, and would almost be considered blonde at this point. Your eyes are still a gorgeous blue, and yes - you still have eyelashes for days. I can't take you anywhere without someone commenting on what amazing lashes you have!

You still love to reach up and touch my face or play with my hair when I am nursing you or when you are laying next to me or in my lap, and I just love it. We stare into each others eyes and just smile at one another, and I feel more like the luckiest Momma on the face of this Earth....


We love you so much Lucas and Abigail, and we simply could not imagine the last 8 months without you in our lives. It has not been easy, and your Daddy and I are far from perfect, but we would do it all again - ALL of it- in a heartbeat. You two are worth every moment. Being your parents is the best gift we could ever ask for.

Love,
Momma



And here are our attempts at 8 month pics:




(had to start putting the sign above their heads as of last month...)

(...because if I put it anywhere near them, this happens...)

Aren't they just precious!? Sometimes I think if I had a spoon big enough, I could eat them up.



Oh- and would you believe that Abbey's shirt is actually the very first dress she ever wore?
Check it out...

Ahhh... my tiny, precious newbowns...man time sure has flown...

Shutterfly Giveaway!

Yup, I am jumping on the bandwagon too!

I know many of my bloggy friends have already written about this GREAT giveaway that Shutterfly is offering to bloggers, but I had to get in on it too =). They are offering 50 free Christmas_Cards!!!

We used them last year for our Christmas cards, and it was SO easy and they turned out GREAT!

We are going to have family photos taken sometime in the next week (gotta find a Christmas dress for Abbey to wear first...) and I can't wait to pick out a card for them to go in!

Shutterfly has an amazing selection of photo cards to choose from. Here are some of my favorites...

Those are just SOME of the amazing selection...take a look for yourself!

Also, if you are in need of some fun, personal gift ideas, Shuttefly offers Photobooks and Calendars as well!!

Thankful

We had SUCH a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend. I hope you all did too. Ours was so fantastic that even though it's nice to be back in our own home, I am more than a little sad our holiday is over...=(

On Wednesday afternoon we packed up the van and headed down to my Dad and Step mom's house.

Me and my turkeys before we left...


We got to their house and set up "home" for the next few days. What wonderful hosts those two made! Seriously. I have never seen two people so genuinely thrilled to clean up Gerber Puffs off the floor and fold our laundry.

This trip came right while we are in the thick of dealing with separation anxiety. Throw in illnesses this past week and a new environment, and you've got some clingy babies. Oh and we developed Thrush again while there too. Fun stuff. But my Dad and Ann were so patient and understanding, and did an amazing job doing whatever it took to keep babies happy when I needed to be otherwise occupied...(jumping up & down, waving their hands in the air, dancing around to keep a high-chaired Luke smiling...our kids have the BEST grandparents ever!!)

We had delicious meals while we were there...even Abbey enjoyed some fruit in the morning with Daddy...
GrandDad and Lucas


It was just wonderful to be able to stay a few days and be with family. David and I are blessed with wonderful, supportive parents, and that has been SO important as we have become parents ourselves.

One of the neatest things about staying at my Dad and Ann's was getting to see them and spend time with them in the mornings and evenings. Our babies slept poorly (insert shocked expression here) while we were there and so we were up a lot during the night, and up early in the morning. On Friday morning Luke and I were up at the crack of dawn, and my Dad came out and chatted with us, and we ended up putting in a movie and just hanging out together. So fun. One of the nights after the twins went to sleep, David went to go visit a friend and I got to just sit and sip tea and talk with Dad and Ann...they are so encouraging. And last night after the twins went down, David and I went out on a date!

My Dad, Abbey, my giant thigh, and me...


For Thanksgiving Day we went over to my Mom and Step Dad's house. My Mom always puts on the best Thanksgiving! It's her favorite holiday, and from the decorations to the stuffing, it's fabulous. Three out of the four of my sisters were there, as well as my aunt and uncle, and my grandparents. We had so much fun!

Luke all dressed up for his first Thanksgiving...seriously, how handsome is my little boy????
Getting smooches from Auntie Natalie...
Playing games with Auntie Nessa...

Cheesin' with Auntie Em...

Grandma Linda is so fun! She lets us play with crinkly bags that make lots of noise...
Luke and Abbey loved their first Thanksgiving meal. They tried turkey, mashed potatoes, rolls and stuffing...

They took turns taking their afternoon naps on Daddy...
I love the way my husband looks with a sleeping baby in his arms.



Friday we went over to David's parents house for another wonderful Thanksgiving meal! More delicious food and even more family fun.

Luke and Grandma Donna...
...and with Poppa Bruce...

Luke and cousin Nastia...

I didn't get nearly as many pictures as I would have liked on Friday. Even though we had a great time, at this point in the trip both babies were overstimulated from so many new places, and their thrush was in full force and so they weren't nursing well, and so they were both fussy. Oh well, Christmas pictures are just around the corner =).


We have so very much to be thankful for this year. On Friday Donna and I were talking about what a difference a year makes. This Thanksgiving at their house entailed FIVE more kids than last year...our twins, and Tony & Risa's three little ones. Can you believe that??? We are so blessed.



And speaking of the difference in a years time, here is a picture taken last year on Thanksgiving day in my Mom's backyard...

And here we are in the exact same spot this year...


Sometimes, I think my heart may just explode...


Happy Thanksgiving all.

Goose-egged

Last night when I came home from work --tired, but not nearly as exhausted as the days previous thanks to my sister Natalie who stayed over the night before, and both took care of constantly waking babies who didn't need to nurse allowing me only 6 wake-ups as opposed to 327 AND added more jewels to her crown in Heaven) -- and was immediately greeted by my husband saying "so Luke took a tumble today..."

Sure enough, on our baby boy's forehead sat a GIANT, bruised, goose egg.

Apparently, he and David were going from standing to sitting down, and Lucas lunged head first and fearless for a block on the floor, only to slam his head into it.

And with that, it begins...

We are raising a BOY.

=)

More and more as he becomes mobile (he's not yet crawling, but he goes from sitting to laying on his stomach with no effort at all, maneuvers around in a 360 turn with ease, and is thisclose to army crawling) we are starting to see the same busy boy we saw in the early ultrasounds, before he ran out of room. The same busy boy that the ultrasound tech always had to chase all over to get measurements on.


Raising a boy is totally new to me. Not that I have ever raised a girl before, obviously, but girls I feel like I know a little better. Besides the fact that I AM ONE, I grew up with four sisters, and three of them were younger than me by five, seven, and nine years respectively.

Perhaps that's why having a son has always intrigued me. Truth be told, I have always hoped I would get to have a little boy. And now - glory to God - I get to have both. How lucky am I???

Recognizing that parenting is the most important job I will ever do, and that raising boys is totally uncharted territory to me, I ordered and started reading this book. And while I am only half way through it, and wouldn't say I totally agree with everything written, it has been incredibly insightful in proposing the theory that boys -and men- are designed to adventurous.

So, in the years to come, when I walk into our living room and find my son poised to jump off the coffee table using only his underwear as a cape, or scaling the bookcase (fear not, it's already bolted to the wall) to slay an imaginary dragon, hopefully I will not be back here writing posts that contain questions like "why is he so crazy?" or "what on earth would possess him to do such a thing??"

Hopefully I will remember that curious, adventurous, and wild at heart, is exactly how God created him to be.

Here's to the first of many, many goose eggs.

Headed to the Dr today

I called the pediatrician this morning to just run down Abbey's symptoms with her. Still spitting up (even 40minutes after eating and no jostling). Sleeping terribly (not that she's ever been a great sleeper, but this is ridiculous). And soooo fussy. Well, some of the time. It's the strangest thing...she will be happy and smiley one minute, and then in an absolute panic the next. She just FREAKS out, starts panting and crying and reaching for me. The first time I saw it was Thursday morning, she was just playing on the floor all fine and dandy, and then just panicked. She acted as if the Devil himself was coming after her. It was awful to watch. I picked her up and consoled her, and she was fine. About 20 minutes later it happened again, and that's when she threw up for the very first time. She was then sick most the day, and up all night throwing up and dry heaving. The last time I remember her *really* throwing up was late Friday night, but she's been doing this thing where she throws up a little in her mouth, and then swallows it back down. Gross. Poor little girl. She has been waking up in the middle of the night, both panicked and screaming, and also just happy and cooing. I am at a loss. Also, sometimes she can be very easily distracted during these freak outs, and other times she can't.

I feel like it could be just this GI bug still working it's way through her, or there is a small chance it could be temperament...she has always been strong willed. But I am also feeling like there is a panic in her cry and on her face that isn't just temperament. Perhaps she is scared because she had never thrown up before Thursday morning and now she freaks whenever she feels like she might? I don't know. Or maybe she there is a chance she has developed some reflux triggered by this bug, as my Wise Mama Friend Stephanie suggested.

Hopefully, the doctor will have some real wisdom and insight today.

I am really praying that she does. Will you pray she does as well? Thanks.

If it is temperament, I am willing to look at holding some stronger lines with her...but I need to know she is ok first. I need to know she isn't hurting before I put my foot down a little stronger than I usually do.


So...I am casting my lots on a pediatrician today. Ours isn't available, but the one we are seeing is the same one we saw for Luke's strep, and she was wonderful. And, it's clearly the one God wants us to see today.

Now I just need to keep my expectations realistic. I find myself daydreaming that she will give us some magic prescription that will heal my babies - and my husband and I - fully. Or that she will be examining them and find some reset button she can press and my sweet, happy, never-been-fantastic-sleepers-but-sure-slept-better-than-this babies will be returned to me.

I know, I know...dream on dreamweaver.

But seriously, we are at our wits end around here. One baby or the other was up at least every hour last night. Luke would cry out and not be able to put himself back to sleep, which normally he is pretty good at. And it wasn't a "I'm awake and I don't want to be!" cry, it was a "I am uncomfortable!" cry. And Abbey went between waking up screaming and just waking up cooing and just being awake. But the most maddening part was the in between, when both babies were actually asleep, and David and I would just lay in our bed wide awake. I've deduced it's some strange survival instinct. Your body/mind decides it's less frustrating to just stay awake then to have just fallen asleep and get woken up again. You can't convince yourself otherwise.

So- headed to the dr's today, hopeful for some good advice/tips/answers as to how to get back on the road to health.

Tales from the Crypt

While all four of us are still exhausted, achy, tired, have small appetites, and are extremely fussy, it is worth noting that not a single being - neither human nor feline- puked in this house today.

Well, for the most part. Abbey still is doing a glorified spitting up thing, and seems to be really upsetting her. I am going to call the ped tomorrow and discuss it (thanks for the tip Stephanie).


I will be honest in telling you that I am terrified to even write those words. It feels like any time I claim victory in illness, more defeat quickly follows.

Lord, let me be wrong.


Also, of note, David has lost 10 pounds in the last few days.

Ten. Pounds.

So, trying to find the positive in all this, I stepped on the scale today.

Guess how much weight I've lost?




Not one pound.


That's right. After completely emptying my stomach, and only eating 7 pieces of toast, 3 fruit juice Popsicles, and (today) braving 2 small bowls of Corn Flakes - that's it for the last three days- I have not lost a single pound, thus confirming my suspicion that I am one of those breastfeeding women whose body clings to those last 10 pregnancy pounds as a survival thing for making milk. That's got to be it. I can run and watch what I eat till the cows come home, but it appears these 10 pounds are hanging around for awhile.


Not that I really care about weight right now. I'd much rather have extra weight and be feeling well enough to enjoy a Cheeseburger and add to that weight. Much rather.

Back to the Crypt...

Sick of being sick

I feel like all I ever write about lately is how sick we all are.
But to be fair, I write about my life, and that's pretty much all that we have going on lately.

I feel like one of us has been sick for as long as I can remember.

Wednesday night Luke got sick, Thursday morning Abbey got sick.

I had to go to work Thursday afternoon, because even though I work for DOCTORS, they are pretty intolerant of too many sick calls, and I called out the week prior when Luke had strep.
David stayed home with both the babies, and luckily as Abbey got sicker, Luke seemed to get better.

Thursday after work I started feeling sick. Later that night I spent 30 minutes on the phone with the advice nurse to see if you can take Imodium AD when you are nursing (you can), went to bed at 8:30pm, only to wake up at 10:45pm with a fever and to throw up. Abbey woke up shortly after and puked as well. She and I spent the night on the couch, feverish and vomiting.

I called in sick to work on Friday, because I simply had no other choice. I was done throwing up Friday morning, but dehydrated. My bones and joints ached. And my daughter was sick.

A friend brought me some Gatorade and 7Up.

Our doctors nurse called to check on us because that made for 3 times in the last 48 hours where I had called the after hours advice line. I nearly cried talking to her "...what is going on? Why are we getting sick so much??" GI bug. We keep passing it back and forth. Hydrate. Rest (HA!). Wash hands.
I explained to her that I have Clorox bleached wiped our ENTIRE house. I have taken to boiling the twins' binkies twice a day. I have done more laundry in the last 3 days than I have the entire month of November. Same with running the dishwasher.
We are hand washers.


By Friday night, Luke was back to his happy self. Thank God. Abbey on the other hand spiked a 103 fever and broke out in a rash. Luckily she was keeping fluids down at that time so we were able to give her some Tylenol. After that and a cool bath, her fever went down and she nursed and went to bed.

I took the hottest bath our water heater would allow in an attempt to soothe my aching, dehydrated bones, and actually fell asleep in the tub.

I crashed in bed by 8:30pm, and slept until 11:30pm when Abbey woke up. She nursed, had a wet diaper (yea for hydration), puked, and went right back to sleep.

A little before 1am, I awoke to the dreaded sound of David throwing up.

In the 6 1/2 years we have been married, I have never seen him get as sick as he did last night. All night long, every 20-30 minutes. I almost called someone to take him to the ER.

The babies both woke at 4:45am, I brought them into the bedroom with me (David was out on the couch), and nursed them both. Abbey crashed and I just left her in our bed. I took Luke back to the nursery and spent 20 minutes rocking him back to sleep.

So far this morning both the babies are nursing well and keeping that down, and have had some breakfast and kept that down. I am keeping toast down. David has been quarantined to the bedroom for the day. Every light switch, door handle, and surface of our house has been sanitized.

If I were Catholic, I would have a priest over to sprinkle us with Holy Water.

I am SO over this.

Not so fast...

Remember the other day when I said we had turned the corner towards a healthy family?

I spoke too soon.

Didn't knock on enough wood.

Whatever cliched phrase you want to use.

Last night a little before midnight, Lucas woke up vomiting.

We thought maybe it was just the (shredded) chicken he tried for dinner, but then he proceeded to vomit and dry heave all. night. long.

Our poor baby.

Dave took the first shift with him, and I took over at 3:30am.

When at 5:15am he hadn't dry heaved in an hour, I decided to nurse him (I was terrified of him becoming dehydrated). Fail. 10 minutes later he threw up EVERYWHERE.

I called the advice nurse, who confirmed it just sounded like a stomach virus. No fever. Need to keep him hydrated. Try juice cut with water, one teaspoon every five minutes. After four hours of no vomit, nurse for five minutes.

I asked her why our sweet boy has been getting so sick lately??? It's really beginning to worry me. Her theory is that his immune system is just compromised from the first illness he got 2 1/2 weeks ago, and so he is just catching everything else easily.

I am trying to trust in that.


Honestly even though I am exhausted today, I am just so relieved he woke up. I am always worried they will throw up in their sleep and not wake up. We had a friend of a friend who lost their son (named Lucas, ironically) that way a few years ago...and it has haunted me ever since.

So, praying we have health in this house soon - especially with travel plans next week - but grateful for two babies that are alive and breathing this morning.


And for strong coffee.



Was that last part glib? Sorry if it was. I am tired.


Oh, and approx 20 minutes after I hit publish, Abbey spewed all over. Lord have mercy.

Growing like a weed...

I took these pics before Church on Sunday, mainly because I wanted to get a few of Luke in this little outfit. It's one of the few I actually purchased -we were gifted tons of clothes and hand me downs- and I couldn't wait to put him in it, only to find it is almost too small! It's a NINE MONTH outfit!

My little boy is growing up so fast...sniff, sniff...

Happy Monday!

I think we might be turning a corner here in our house and headed towards everyone finally being healthy **knocks on wood**. Luke is still a little bit congested, but I am beginning to think he might have a touch of allergies. His dad is allergic to cats and dust (and our house has plenty of both), and maybe he has inherited some of those allergies.

Anyways, I thought I'd jump on here real quick while both the babies are actually down for a nap at the same time and post some pics...



David is so creative when it comes to keeping the babies entertained. One day when the weather was nice, he decided to give them front row seats to the outdoors while playing in their pack-n-play. They loved it!



My DJ's...



My happy little girl...




Everyone loves mealtime around here!
(Abigail)
(Lucas)



And bath time!
(Momma & Abbeygirl)

And of course, playing with our toys!




Yesterday afternoon we loaded up the babies and headed to our Pastor's house for our Small Group's Thanksgiving Feast. The babies were soooooo good! They sat happily on our laps while we ate, and they munched on puffs & yogurt melts, and had bites of our applesauce, mashed potatoes, and ham. And even though we are in the beginning stages of separation anxiety, they did great being passed around from person to person...just smiling and cooing the whole evening! It was so fun!
Took this right before we headed out...
Yea for a smiley family =)

Oh, how He loves us

I have been up a lot in the middle of the night lately holding my ill son as he moans in a feverish pain. (Of note, so has my wonderfully helpful husband...can't leave him out) This has allowed for many middle of the night deep thought sessions.

Bear with me as I get them out of my head and down in writing.

I've been thinking about how hard it is to watch your children be in pain. It absolutely rips my heart apart. I have been thinking about the mothers -and fathers- who have chronically ill children. Or terminally ill children. The parents who have to sit and watch their children suffer day in and day out, and there is nothing they can do about it.

I can not imagine.

A few weeks ago I brought a patient and his mother into my office to schedule their future appointments/procedures. The patient was a teenager, and a quadriplegic. He was unable to move any part of his body, and unable to speak, but he wore a smile. His mother looked tired, but she wore a smile as well. I learned that two years ago her son had been attending an event with his youth group and had a heart attack. He went without oxygen for too long and although he was brought back to life, his brain and body suffered permanent damage. Turns out he had a heart defect from birth that there was no way of knowing about until the heart attack occurred. After they left my office, I had to close my door and just cry for awhile. My heart was so broken for them. I can not fathom how hard it must be for their family. So many things...but what would haunt me the most as the mother is knowing that your son is most likely going to out live you. Who is going to care for your helpless child like you would? Oh what faith - what trust - a question like that requires.

I know, we are never safer than when we are in our Father's Hands, and that is precisely where His children reside, but still...how hard.


I have also been thinking about my own children. Their hurts. Their futures. I pray constantly for protection over them, that God would keep them safe from those that wish to do them harm. At one point I was praying against a particular situation and I heard God ask me "do you want them to always be comfortable, or do you want them to do great things for Me?"

I wish that I was so super-Spiritual that I could sit here and tell you that I instantly said "do great things for you Lord!" but the truth is I hesitated a bit. In all honesty a part of me wishes my children could only ever experience comfort.

But that wouldn't be doing them any favors.


After all, it's rain that makes the grass green.


I think about their futures and the things they are likely to face...broken hearts, hurt feelings, illnesses, injury, accidents, failures, bullying, deceit, frustration, dishonesty, defiance, name calling, and on and on and on...

But, if I trust in Him and His promise to make all things work together for good for those who love Him, than I have to let my self accept that such things are not just inevitable, but purposeful.

I wish for them enough heartache that they can be compassionate to others who are hurting. I wish for them enough discomfort that they can not only appreciate comforts when they exist, but can genuinely want to comfort others when they are able to. I wish for them enough hard times that they know and appreciate the good times. I wish for them enough struggles and disappointments that they learn only Christ will never let them down.

I can review and see in my own life how so much good has come from heartache. Just in my years of infertility alone...so much good fruit from so many hard days. Off the top of my head - one of the things Christ revealed to me during that time was the ugly part in me that felt entitled to get to be a mother. I really thought I was a "good enough" person that I deserved it. So wrong on so many levels. I am by no means claiming He has cured me of all sense of entitlement in all areas, but I did come to a point where I realized that children are an absolute gift, and I do not deserve them. And that has made any hard moments with them a thousand times easier. I meant what I wrote the other day, even in the most difficult and frustrating times with them, I wouldn't trade it. I don't deserve even my salvation, let alone my two beautiful babies.


And on to salvation. What a gift. A Father who let His Son hurt. A Father who let His Son be broken - in every sense of the word - for us. For you and for me. A Father who allowed this brokenness and heartache, all the while knowing that the very people He was allowing this for would turn our backs to Him day in and day out. He knew we would curse Him. He knew we would reject Him. He knew we would deny Him. He knew this and still sent His Son to the cross.

And not just the cross. I don't know how many of you out there have seen The Passion, but those who have may agree with me in the sense of relief I felt when Jesus was finally making His way to the cross. At least I knew then it was almost over. The DAY of torture He had endured was almost unbearable for me to even watch through a movie. And God, the Father, watched. Watched it all, knowing at any point He had the power to intervene.

And yet, He didn't. He allowed the suffering to continue. All because He loves me. All because He loves Luke and Abbey and David. And all of us. So very much.


Lately I have watched my son suffer even the slightest illness, and my heart has ached for him. And that small thing has stunned me anew at how much God must love me.

We're just so busy...

After two days of (low) fevers and night wake ups every hour, a trip to the pediatrician today confirmed little Luke is indeed still ill. Poor baby has strep throat. Ugh. There is a chance his Momma has it too...we are waiting for his culture to grow and will go from there regarding treating me. He is on an antibiotic and a rotation of baby Tylenol and Ibuprofen. And lots and lots of snuggles.
We wouldn't hate it if you kept us in your prayers again this week =)

But, other than being ill, we've been pretty busy doing other things, like...

Exploring our toys...

...and playing our bongo drums...

...and falling asleep in our swing...

...and practicing our standing...

...and taking naps on Daddy...



...and playing together...



...and sitting up like big kids...



...and trying our first finger foods...



...and taking more naps on Daddy...


As you can see, being 7 months old is very hard work.